Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Baseball Sucks

FAIL.

I was going to write this entry as a letter to New York Yankee fans and ticketholders but I'm going to refrain because I'm assuming that most of them wouldn't even get past the title "Baseball Sucks". Contrary to some of my bretheren over at the GP, I abhor baseball. I spent two years of my childhood attempting to play in the unadulterated version known as "Little League" baseball and when I realized that I would be no more than a lead-off hitting 3rd baseman, I gave it up completely. But no, my qualms with baseball is entirely removed from my personal playing experiences, rather it is of a fiscal origin. Ignoring all the steroid talk, it disgusts me to have to watch and listen to sportshows and sports-radio give me updates about how the Yankees just shot their endless porn-like wad at yet another over-rated individual (this time Mark Teixeira). 

I assure you that I am not the only middle-class professional who believes that it is completely ludicris for four athletes to sign multi-year contracts totaling almost HALF A BILLION DOLLARS in one off-season. I cut back on Christmas gifts/spending this year and here I am having to run multiple spreadsheets to determine if I can (and want to) own a house that would cost less than $200,000. To put it in perspective, Mr. Teixeira will make $131,000 in ONE FUCKING GAME. If it's a normal 9-inning game, that's over $43,000 AN HOUR. Almost more than I make in a year.

Can you tell I'm bitter? Fuck you Steinbrenner. I hope you don't make the playoffs or lose in the first round to the Red Sox.

My second point is very simple - baseball is painfully boring to watch. Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball. Catch ball. OH MY GOD, A HIT! CHEER!!! Toss ball. Catch ball. Grab crotch. Flirt with pitcher. What? Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball.... OUT!!! Two more to go...

Anyway, for all you ticket holders, I hope you cancel your tickets this season and stick it to the man. 

It is asinine that by the time I have children and would like to take them to a sporting event, that I won't be able to afford to do so. And at that time, I'm sure baseball will still suck.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Monday, December 22, 2008

2008 Fantasy Football Recap

My vote for NFL MVP.. .and my fantasy team MVP...

I participated in two fantasy football leagues this year (one $$$, one $0.00) as well as a "pick 'em" league where I'm going to finish out of the money, but in the top 10. In the non-$-league, I've half-assed my way into third place. Joseph Addai was the biggest bust and Matt Forte was the biggest surprise. It would have been huge to have secured Forte in my pay-league... But that was not the case. In retrospect, I could have gotten him... Anyway, I wanted to embellish on what was a rollercoaster of a ride that left the gate back in early September and has since ended with the League Championship! Points-race TBD... (I'm 40 points back from first place and 10 points from second.)

SThe draft is instrumental, but certainly not the end-all-be-all (Note - I drafted 10 of 10). It's your chance to secure the crux of your team but as well all know, injuries (ala Tom Brady), busts (ala Joseph Addai) and surprises (ala DeAngelo Williams) can durastically alter the complexion of your squad from the get-go. As previously stated in September (my post-draft preseason preview and draft results), I felt very good about my QB, WR, and TE slots but my RB situation was left with much more to be desired. In hindsight, it would have behooved me to have selected a Matt Forte, LenDale White, Chris Johnson or DeAngelo Williams instead of Maroney, Taylor or S. Young. For those of you keeping score, here are the RBs that participated in e-roc's 2008 game of  running back roulette. The top four are currently on the roster:
  1. Steve Slaton (Hou)
  2. Pierre Thomas (NO)
  3. Jonathon Stewart (Car)
  4. Leon Washington (NYJ)
  5. Peyton Hillis (Den) - IR
  6. Ryan Torain (Den) - IR
  7. Selvin Young (Den) - original draft pick
  8. Cadillac Williams (TB)
  9. Cedric Benson (Cin)
  10. BJGE aka "Law Firm" (NE)
  11. Laurence Maroney (NE) - original draft pick
  12. Ray Rice (Bal)
  13. LeRon McClain (Bal)
  14. Kevin Smith (Det) - should have kept
  15. Ricky Williams (Mia)
  16. Dominic Rhodes (Ind) - should have kept
  17. Melwelde Moore (Pit)
  18. Ahman Green (Hou)
  19. Julius Jones (Sea)
  20. Fred Taylor (Jax) - original draft pick
  21. Maurice Morris (Sea) - original draft pick
  22. Deuce McAllister (NO)
Your eyes do not deceive you. I was swapping players on a weekly, if not bi-weekly, basis hoping for a player to blow-up. It should be noted that Pierre Thomas was riding the pine during his explosion against the Bears and Falcons. Needless to say, the lesson to be learned is that free agency can save your season and win you a championship. 

For those that care, here was the final roster (starters denoted with *)... Yes, Reggie Wayne was supposed to be starting, but I f'd up something earlier in the week... 
  • Quarterbacks - Peyton Manning*, Tyler Thigpen, Jeff Garcia
  • Runningbacks - Slaton*, Thomas*, Stewart, Washington
  • Wide Receivers - Antonio Bryant*, Anquan Boldin, Brandon Marshall*, Reggie Wayne, Torry Holt* (should have kept Hixon)
  • TEs - Antonio Gates* and Owen Daniels (Unchanged!! But I will admit owning Donte Rosario for one week)
  • Kickers - Jason Elam*, John Kasay (I won't mention how many different K's I owned..)
  • Defense - Eagles*, Falcons
This roster will change again heading into week 17 as Manning and Wayne will probably be benchwarmers at best against the Tennessee Titans (who will also be resting starters)... Good thing I have Thigpen and Bryant!

Awards:
  • League Champ - You Want Rice Noodle (193 to 125)
  • Points Champ - TBD after Week 17
  • MVP - Peyton Manning. He started slow and even struggled against teams like Cleveland, but during the fantasy football playoffs, he was stellar, most notably recently in Weeks 15 & 16. In retrospect, Drew Brees would have been the better pick (more consistent, most points) but I won't argue with his performance as of late.
  • MVFA (Most Valuable Free Agent) - I'm going to call this a tie between Steve Slaton and Antonio Bryant. Slaton may get the edge considering all the troubles I was having at RB but Bryant stepped in this week for an ailing Boldin and registered the highest non-QB point total. I also had him benched during his 200-yard breakout performance against the Panthers, but at least no one else had him...
  • Thank You for Attending - Antonio Gates. After a big fat ZERO in week 15, he came through with 40 yds and two TDs.  Arguably, I could have started Owen Daniels who had a monster game against Oakland.
  • Wish You Were Here - Issac Bruce. I dropped him way too early in the season, prior to Shaun Hill's ascension to starter and fantasy football starter-dom. He would have come in handy through the Bye Weeks disaster that tries to ruin all of our seasons.
  • Sorry I Missed You - Matt Forte. I really should have drafted Forte instead of Maroney as my #1 running back pick. I might be in the points lead with a top-5 RB...
Looking forward to next year!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

I Can Haz JoePa

I though coaches were supposed to be father figures.... not grandfather figures.

Beat SC!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Revelation of the Career Kind

On the left, what I would rather be doing. On the right, what I am doing.

Approximately 20 minutes ago, I stumbled onto the amazing fact that I have a friend who's day job is professionally described as "quality control". Her primary objective upon stepping within the walls of the workplace is to protect and insure integrity. Constraints and limitations are minimal.

She works for Nintendo. She tests games for Wii. All. Day. Long.

Now, I'm sure that her job is not as cushy as I presume it to be (I have not confirmed with the source), however, I am certain that it sounds more appealing to be PLAYING from 9-5 as opposed to being confined to a cubicle for the same period of time glued to a chair, Excel and Lotus Notes.

When I was growing up, my parents instilled within me the value of a good education. Furthermore, they encouraged the career path of a working professional as they both had done. But I missed something along the way. I failed to put two & two together. As a high school student, I was the student who did enough to get by with an A-. I want to emphasize the "-" because my efforts never deserved or warranted the natural "A" or even "A+". On the distribution curve, that was saved for the over-achievers and naturally brilliant. No, I spent a vast majority of my waking hours in grade school in front of a TV and video game console with controller in hand (and still found time to dabble in sports). Unlike the spoiled brats of the 21st century, my controller had to be physically connected to the console. Anyway, I digress. How was I so very blind to merge the value of education and career with the preexisting passion of video-gaming.

I use sports as my key witness. If I had the God-given ability to run a 4.32 second 40-yard dash or be able to throw a baseball 100+ mph, I would clearly not be sitting here typing this garbage right now. The point here is that so many individuals have dedicated their lives to eating, drinking, and sleeping a certain sport to be one of the best and "make a career" out of it. When an athlete says his dream has always been to be in the NFL, I'm convinced that the dream is not to be part of the highest level of competition, but rather, to indirectly communicate that he wants to play football for a living. Why wouldn't you want to spend your life doing what you love? (Now THAT has to sound familiar to all of us). The cornerstone of this analogy is to equate the idea that sports are games just as video games are games. Albeit, the physical toll and punishment is quite different while seated (or standing to play Wii bowling).

I spent countless hours as a child/collegian glued to my Playstation. It boggles my mind that though I put so much time into gaming that I never took the step to link the games with my studies. Why should I have been taking "breaks" to play PS2? That should have been my homework! Devil's advocate would say that it's just a hobby. But I define a hobby as an activity that one does for a "few hours a week", not a few hours a day.

Maybe it's not too late, but I'm catching the economy (and this segment of my life) at a very curious time. Switching careers altogether is probably the worst decision I can make. I'm also living in the wrong part of the country to make this delusional fantasy a reality...

...and now, back to the Excel spreadsheet....

Saturday, December 13, 2008

"Her Horn Can Pierce the Sky"


Figurines currently sold out. T-shirts are available.


Friday, December 12, 2008

More Transformer Nostalgia...


Menasor (@deviantART by Dan)

Predaking !!! (Predacons) vs. Defensor (Protectobots) & Superion (Aerialbots)
(from wikipedia.org)


Sky Linx (from wikipedia.org)


*drool*...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Transformers, missing a transformation...


Devastator: It takes six, babyyyy...

It dawned on me this morning as Ld & I exchanged e-mails continuing on our "Battles" discussion that there's a void in my video gaming life. After the battles of Lionel, Captain Planet, the Hulk, and Michael Clarke Duncan had completed, I tossed out several Transformers that had the ability to merge to create even larger robots , aka Combiner Teams (i.e. Constructicons, Aerial Bots, Combaticons and Stunticons). Ld selected Devasator, a strong choice.

The 100kg anvil that landed on my proverbial foot was this: why isn't there a Transformers RPG or MMORPG? My affinity for the "Grand Theft Auto"-style of gameplay lasted a mere quarter of college. so I have no desire to want to purchase the 2008 Transformers video game. An intense, violent search via Google left me desperately seeking just one positive website that would have some knowledge of a Transformers-based video game RPG (that would play like Final Fantasy/Xenogears or even better Final Fantasy Tactics). My appetite for oversize robot destruction was temporarily satisfied by Front Mission IV (available at a local gaming exchange store for $12.99).... but the sleeping giant has been awakened...

**Editor's Note** While the RPG-style is my preference, the idea of developing a Real-Time Strategy (RTS) version could be equally amazing. In fact, it may carry a wider audience by tapping into the Warcraft, Dune, and Command & Conquer (better known as C&C) addicts. The scenario below could be amended for an RTS by introducing Energon as a mining commodity necessary for financing the construction of a base, its defenses & facilities and squad member upgrades (i.e. armor, weaponry)...


To my dismay, there were countless entries and forum posting that echo this blog entry and zero, nil, nada that would say otherwise. It is frustrating to say the least. My limited mental capacity imagines an Final Fantasy-style game that not only allows you to elect whether you want to play as the Autobots or the Decepticons, but integrates a team-building mentality that would present a gamer to build a legion of up to 20-25 characters.

For example, as you progress through a story-line written for the Autobots:
  • Team Building: You travel through various junkyards and bases presenting you with the opportunity to recruit additional characters into your squad. Your play as Optimus Prime and begin with a team that includes Ratchet, and Prowl. During one of your stops, you are given the option to select 3 out of the five following Autobots: Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Blaster, Jazz and Smokescreen. Similarly, Megatron would start with Starscream and Skywarp, then have to pick from Thundercracker, Soundwave, Sunstorm, Ramjet and Thrust. There would be inherent advantages and disadvantages to the composition of a team, which would be essential to winning certain battles.
  • Character Development: as with other RPGs, you level up by fighting battles and you can develop the character with abilities, special attacks, and equipment. I imagine that this list of abilities, attacks and equipment would be catered to the various character types.
  • Character Types: Soldiers (Cars & Jets), Medics, Communicators (audioplayer & microcassettes), Combiner, Other/Special.
  • Communicators & Combiner Teams: The idea behind this would be to allow gamers to select/upgrade from a team of Soundwave + Ravage + Laserbeak to the six Constructicons.
  • Other/Special Characters: Just to name a few; Insecticons, Dinobots, Terrorcons, Monsterbots, Triple Changers (!!), Six Changer (!!!). Once in a while during story battles, MAJOR characters are introduced (i.e. Metroplex/Scorponok battle stations) as allies which can not be recruited to join your squad.
  • Random Battles: As Autobots, your battles would be with Insecticons/Piranacons and as Decepticons, your battles would be with Minivehicles/Dinobots (smaller ones to start, not fighting Grimlock or Slag over and over). Each battle would delimit a max number of Transformers you can use to fight with (4-5 in random).
  • Story/Boss Battles: You fight Grimlock or Optimus and a team of minions here. Or maybe the Stunticons Menasor (you have to stop them from merging!). Heck, we'll throw in Ultra Magnus. Each battle would delimit a max number of Transformers you can use to fight with (6-10 in story).
  • Final Battle: In order to effectively waste three hours of your life in ONE battle, you could commandeer 10-15 squad members to destroy 20 minions and multiple Boss characters.
  • AP/HP/EP - Attack Points (each attack would require a number of AP), Health-Hit Points (your life points), Energon Points (special skill/ability points). Energon points would be used to execute a combo-attack with Soundwave + Ravage or to build Devastator. Presumably, leveling up makes it easier to defeat tougher enemies.
  • Story Line - I haven't done my homework in reading the comic books, but I could default to the story-line written in the existing Transformers video game, modified for new character additions. Alternatively, the goal of the Autobots is to play "policeman" and react to Decepticons creating chaos on various planets (Ooo! landscape/terrain factor!) with a grand finale on Earth. The Misfits would target certain locations with the intent of capturing Energon cubes and ultimately destroying Optimus Prime & Crew. *Editor's Note* For the heartless and ruthless gamers, the story-line would simply be to eliminate the other faction from the universe. Progression through the story would revolve around the building and training of an army followed by countless battles in various arenas.
I'm sure this could be a lot more in-depth, but generally speaking, this would get a rise out of my pants and I would dedicate the 80-120 hours of gameplay necessary to complete the game. The college (maybe high school today) gamer with more time in the world than any of us, could play as the Autobots (beat the game in 60 hours, FINISH the game in 100 hours) then go play as the Decepticons (same time frame) from the same game (none of this two disk marketing bullshit). Side missions and stories along the way (from female Transformers or rogue mercenaries) would increase your gameplay by at least 10 hours. Ideally, you could buy the video game sleeve and get both disks for say, $69.99 or $39.99 individually. I WOULD buy a PS3/XBox360 if this game was on the market as described above.

Unfortunately, this game doesn't exist on the face of this planet and even if it did, those who would most enjoy and delight in its existence are now between the ages of 25 and 35 who don't have the time to play because of a 9am to 5pm day job... which I should probably get back to now...

*drool*


Picture this: Team Soundwave.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Monday Musings


(Photo by N. Arnold)

It's Monday... and I'll look like this cat in an hour or so.

  • Comedians Tom Papa & Pete Lee are hilarious. It was an unexpected, but pleasant surprise to see Pete Lee a second time (first time in Vegas; live taping of Last Comic Standing). It makes a big difference to give these guys 20 minutes to complete their jokes instead of three minutes.
  • Ohio State's basketball team beat a solid Notre Dame basketball team on a neutral court (in Indianapolis). Evan Turner is going to have a break-out year on offense and defense. Diebler looks more comfortable finally draining some 3's and making the extra pass... I think we're going to keep surprising people especially in the Big Ten. Michigan apparently wants some love too after beating the Dukies!
  • My fantasy football team had a decent weekend, but I'm falling behind in the points race. Thanks to the Bye-week, I'm looking ahead to Week 15... P.Manning & Wayne v. Detroit is the only cupcake match-up I can see on the schedule. This might not turn out well...
  • Florida beat the spread. Those guys in Vegas know what they're doing... I'm really sick of Tim Te-blow. As Peyton Manning is quoted as saying, I hope Te-blow "...enjoys playing fullback in the NFL...".
  • BCS: Oklahoma v. Florida - WRONG! Texas should be in this game. Florida is going to win by double-digits. Penn State v. USC in the Rose Bowl - when is this game not going to be played in USC's back-yard? Should be a good one. Utah v. Alabama in the Sugar - should be a one-sided affair to prove that Utah didn't belong (just like Hawaii last year v. Georgia). Ohio State v. Texas in the Fiesta Bowl - I think OSU can give Texas fits on both sides of the ball considering the number of points Texas has given up this season. Hopefully Pryor will give Mack Brown nightmares of VY... Cincinnati vs. Virginia Techzzzzzzzz... Huh? Sorry, I started nodding off there...
The economy & market still sucks.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Who Would Win?

Ld (because LD is taken) and I have spent the past two days exchanging a high volume of e-mails asking the question of who would win in a hand-to-hand, duke it out battle. Below are many of the battles for which I 'blame' E for:

The Original: Carl Winslow v. Uncle Phil Banks
  1. Theo Huxtable v. Fresh Prince
  2. Catwoman (H. Barry) v. Invisible Girl (J. Alba)
  3. Chuck Norris v. Jack Bauer
  4. Lionel v. Captain Planet v. He-Man
  5. Sonic v. Knuckles v. Shadow
  6. Carlton v. Erkle
  7. Cody v. Fresh Prince
  8. Zack Morris v. Parker Lewis
  9. Hellboy v. Hulk
  10. Hans Gruber v. Simon Gruber
  11. John McClane. Jason Statham
  12. Mortal Kombat v. DC v. Marvel v. Capcom v. Tekken
  13. Hines Ward v. John Stallworth
  14. Beanie Wells v. Eddie George
  15. Bubby Brister v. Tommy Maddox
  16. Snorks v. Smurfs
more to come...

For all who think Ball State should be in the BCS..



"Ball State did not want to play in a game so far from their Muncie campus"... Pussies.

The Friday Whine. Wer iz mah cheez?

  1. Apparently the Oprah show that aired yesterday was all about various people that had been victims of internet (e-mail & web) and phone scams. Fortunately, I was not subject to having to watch it first hand. Rather, I was given the abbreviated version which similarly made me want to vomit. The victims included (1) a woman who fell trap to a man who claimed to be a war veteran via random phone call who needed $10,000 for a surgery, (2) a woman who accepted a marriage proposal via e-mail and sent gobs of money to her future husband, and (3) a boatload of individuals who sent their 'jewelry in for cash' and subsequently never received any cash in return. These are just a few examples as I have chosen NOT to recall or waste my brain cells remembering. The name of the episode should have been called "Morons in your neighborhood". Please take away their phones, computers and access to money.
  2. I've read some pretty ridiculous sports columns in my life (thanks to Pat Forde, Trev Alberts, and Peter King) but for some reason, the article I scanned over last night written by Jeffrey Martin made me want to throw my iBook through my window. He wrote a circular argument regarding why the "Sooners earned the Big12 South" by using the following as the crux: "it's not if you lose, it's when you lose". Now, let me reiterate the fact that he is saying Oklahoma EARNED the rights to the Big12 South. I don't understand. You don't EARN anything by losing. You LOSE by losing. Earning is defined as the result of gain through work/labor. Losing early has no explicit correlation with the definition of 'earn'. After all, "gain" & "lose" are antonyms (unless FoxSports has differing definitions). This bothers me greatly but I suppose it's the bullshit that we, as free Americans with rights to free speech, have to deal with. However, perhaps there should be legislation against idiots publishing their work. What was I doing reading FoxSports anyway?
  3. I think I've exhausted this topic previously, but I just want to add that I think it's complete and utter bullshit that Notre Dame is presumably giving Charlie Weis another year to "turn things around" when Bob Davie and Tyrone Willingham (I know it was because he is black) were not given similar opportunities. I don't even want to start on the multimillion dollar contract extension that Weis received. The offensive genius has posted records of 3-9 and 6-6 following the universities generous contribution to his buffet line. Just for fun, look at ND's 2009-2010 schedule. It's clear that they want to win and compete against mediocrity.
  4. I'll never understand people who need to smoke on their way to work (in the car) at 6am-7am. Never.
  5. I'll never understand people who think eating a four-course meal from McD's is safe (or appropriate ) while driving in the morning traffic...
  6. Why do people stop/slow down to observe traffic accidents? Why???
  7. Allergies suck & I hate frigid weather.
  8. The ratio of obese to non-obese in the office building I work at is at least 10 to 1. It is obvious that skinny people come here to die.
  9. This is the first holiday season where I've actually felt stress from a financial perspective. Next year probably won't be any better.
  10. I'm tired.
Sorry this blog entry sucked. I'll try harder next time.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Official blog lolcat #2

Um....


...Unbenounced to The Batman, The Joker had taken the form of Philip Rivers...

Noodle Points - Detroit Lions


A few reasons why this football team just plain sucks:
  • William Clay Ford Sr. & Matt Millen - These are interrelated. If you build a shitty car and compound that with a shitty paint job, your once shitty car is now even more shitty. Ford built a shitty car (no pun intended) and decided to have Matt Millen paint it and add various accessories. When is Matt Millen, a former NFL LINEBACKER going to learn that wide receivers don't win games?
  • "With the 1st pick in the 2009 NFL draft, the Detroit Lions select Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech!"
  • Personnel - The hiring of Mad Martz and Rod Marinelli had potential save the fact that they don't have the personnel to get anything done. If you're the greatest chess player in the universe and you only get a king vs. an opponent with a full slate of pieces, you have no chance of winning. IMO, I think Florida /Alabama could beat this team on a neutral field.
  • Player IQ - running out of the back of an end-zone results in a safety. I think you learn that in pee-wee ball.
  • Quarterback - Daunte Culpepper? Um... way to go out and pick up a washed out, compulsive fumbling machine...
  • Barry Sanders retired.
I wonder if there's a contractual clause that pays the management, coaches, and team an annual bonus for going defeated/winless... Kind of like those guys at AIG, Ford, and Citigroup.

Wall Street


How much money have you lost?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Monday, December 1, 2008

The Official lolcat of You Want Rice Noodle?


(we wash for you too..)

For my all Steeler buddies...

BC-meSs


As a scarlet & gray bleeding Buckeye fan, I've come to terms with the fact that two consecutive losses in National Championship game results in being treated like a Port-a-Jon by the NCAA, BCS Apple IIe and IBM 1981 PC computers, and the ESPN ("Empty Suits Posing as kNowledgable") analysts. However, I am sick to my stomach over still having to read about how certain individuals think that our program is sub-par to the likes of non-BCS teams. Maybe this is what Charlie Weis feels like after eating his 30th cheeseburger.

I have a short OSU counter-point to the stone-throwers of a good 10-2 season:
  • Boise State - Did Boise State play ANYONE of Southern Cal's or Penn State's caliber this season? Please, just name one team. Mighty Oregon struggled to beat a below-average Purdue team in overtime.
  • Utah - see above. They beat a HORRENDOUS Michigan team by two. Nice work. Also needed TCU's kicker to miss not once, but TWICE...
  • The Ohio State loss was to USC (on their home turf) without Beanie Wells. Not saying the outcome would have changed, but to have a RB to control the clock/possession, would have changed the 'feel'. I'm going for respectability here...
  • Penn State's vaunted "HD" offense needed a late game fumble by a freshman QB to shift the tides. Just sayin'.
  • On the topic of "who's playing well at the end of the season", give Ohio State some credit too. Beanie is healthy again, Terrelle Pryor boosted his QB rating to > 150, and the defense is starting to play more inspired football to compliment the aforementioned two-headed monster.
One last thing to note - Ohio State ENDED UP in the 2007 Championship game v. LSU thanks to teams like West Virginia, Missouri, and USC's explicite desires not to go. It's like my senior year HS prom date, everyone else had dates and well, a month prior to the event, no one else had asked her. I just ended up going with her. However, my experience was equivalent to Ohio State's...

On a similar note, the 2006 Championship game v. Florida was like every drunken experience I've had. The first few drinks go down awesome and you feel fantastic, then it all comes to a screeching halt via black-out and the next day you have an 18-hour hangover...

It's already been noted by just about every Longhorn fan on the planet, but how you beat a team head-to-head on a neutral field and end up on the face-down side of a flipped coin is ludicrous. Hello? It is obvious to me that the Big 12 is being run on the same Apple IIe's as the BCS.

Monday


Contrary to the ESPN/MNF commercials, I have never and will never ask the question "Is it Monday yet?" Um, unless I'm getting on a flight to go on vacation somewhere like Vegas on a Monday.

Disclaimer - this looks like the keyboard I'm typing on and I do have a black Philips monitor.

My Fantasy Football Team Sucks


Quick note: Our league plays two games per week.

After going on a strong 7-game win streak, my team has decided to put its head between its knees for the past two weeks failing to post 100 points. In our scoring system, a 140-spot is good and a 160+ is strong. Therefore, my team has been performing like the Detroit Pussycats or the Cincinnati BunGals (or Notre Dame). It's not even worth mentioning that I've been blasted by the top scoring team in the league in consecutive weeks.

At the moment, I'm not holding out hope that my team will turn things around heading into the playoffs (starting Thursday evening). Fortunately it looks like I've secured a bye-week so my group of Numb Nuts can continue its "we look good on paper" trend.

These fuckers must all be airbrushed or something. Names & nicknames below.
  • Peyton "washed out" Manning - performance vs. the Brownies was laughable
  • Brandon "shut out" Marshall - no TDs since week 10 vs. aforementioned Brownies
  • Reggie "the Whiner" Wayne - no TDs since week 10 vs. Steelers
  • Anquan Boldin - this guy broke his jaw and came back three weeks later, he's the MAN. Second worst outing of the season.
  • Antonio "Rivers Hates Me" Gates - 2008 has been a very mediocre one
  • Running Backs By Committee - yet again, I start the wrong RB. L. Washington over Hillis. Oops. Slaton tonight v. Jax.
Draft redo - 13 weeks into the season, it's clear that I should have drafted Drew Brees & Larry Fitzgerald instead of Peyton Manning & Reggie Wayne. Additionally, drafting a Matt Forte instead of Brandon Marshall would have partially solidified my game of roulette RB. With Sleepers like Roddy White & Eddie Royal, the 4th round WR pick was a bit hasty.

That being said, unless someone can convince me otherwise (or increase my salary by > 25%), it looks like I will be refraining from next year's Season and saving my money for my upcoming trip to Vegas (time/date TBD).

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

ICanHasCheezburger...

Thanks to LD, I've been having way too much fun recently...

I'll be contacting Yum! Brands marketing.

...that i did eat all those Cheezburgers....


Go Bucks!



Monday, November 24, 2008

The uMassacre at Ohio Stadium

Even though it was a brutally cold day in the 'Shoe, 105,000 fans still showed up (hats, gloves, jackets and flasks...) to witness a 42-7 beating. They also witnessed the first Ohio State 5-game win streak over Michigan and the last home game for the likes of Laurinaitus and Jenkins... It could have been Beanie Wells' last game in scarlet and gray as well. Other bright notes include seeing the last home game for Boozing Boone and Rasta Wells.

It was as convincing a win as I've ever seen as a Buckeye fan and it was good to finally see the playbook opened up a little more in spite of the weather. With all the big plays, I had to make sure I wasn't spilling my beer everywhere while jumping in elation.


Other bullets:
  • RichRod does not have control of his team. I believe what's going to befall this team going forward is the lack of a high-profile, intelligent QB. Pat White is a fantastic athlete, but I doubt he ever gets into the academic standards set forth at Michigan. DickRod will probably need to take his playbook down south were you can get by with 35 scholarships/year and low SAT scores. I'm just sayin'...
  • "I'm really sick to my stomach" - ICanHasCheezburgers Weis. Was this quote after he consumed one or two dozen Big Macs? He's a terrible coach. My point here about ND is simple: ESPN ANNUALLY rates Notre Dame's recruiting classes in the top 5-10. This has been the case for the past three years (all Cheezburger recruits). Why doesn't it translate into wins against football powerhouses like Syracuse, Navy, Stanford, North Carolina, Pittsburgh, and Air Force? Coaching. If you put Pete Carroll, Bob Stoops, Jim Tressel, or Urban Meyer in control and ND would return to at least a shell of its former championship self. Not gonna happen under Charlie. It makes you wonder how much cheating was really going on at New England while he was the OC...
  • The BCS is a mess. If you lob in the ideas that Oklahoma will lose to Mizzou in the championship game, Florida loses to FSU, Alabama loses to Auburn, Oregon State wins out... Then what? I challenge you to pre-pick the 10 teams that will end up in the BCS bowlgames this week... If you're 10 for 10, I'll buy you a steak dinner.
Looking back at the 2008-2009 OSU regular season which is already over, we may always wonder "what if" Beanie didn't get hurt in the 3Q of a meaningless game against Youngstown State. Beanie's injury did vault Pryor into his role of The Chosen One much earlier than anticipated, but we're beginning to see its benefits.

Boeckman peaked as a 4th year Junior against PSU and failed to maintain that high long enough to beat anyone else formidable (see: Illinois, LSU, USC). We'll miss Malcolm Jenkins a lot more than we'll miss Laurinaitus and Freeman. I want at #2 jersey solely because of Malcolm.

The expectations were unfairly high for this squad which over-achieved in 2007 and squeeked its way into the BCS Championship Game after Mizzou, WVU and USC all showed that they didn't want to go there badly enough (see: Oklahoma, Pitt, Stanford). And yes, one can safely conclude that Gholston was a force on the D-Line which we missed terribly this year. No one even came close to the 14 sacks he tallied in '07.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

New Template

I guess I like it..

Monday, November 10, 2008

My Quickie (CFB, NFL)

My version of the Quickie:
  1. Ohio State's offense - Still mildly offensive (behind the offensive O-line), but managed to churn out 45 points. How 1/3 of Pryor's completions went for TD's is mildly ridiculous... Give me Block-O! Also, it was good to see the play-calling involve actual passing plays & our WR's show up...
  2. Ohio State's defense - FortunatelyKafka's Tebow impression didn't last the entire game. I'm convinced that Marcus Freeman is injured (or just ridiculously over-rated).
  3. OSU-NU referees - Awful. Disgusting. Horrendous. Vomitous. The missed holding calls, the garbage late hit penalties, and the ball-spots were just a few of their transgressions. Was it too cold to throw that holding flag? I suspect the umpire wanted to keep his hands warm (in his pockets).
  4. Heisman - In my head, Beanie is a Heisman contender, but he probably finishes no better than 3rd this year the way Harrell, McCoy, and Tebow (found his mojo) have been playing. I suppose Michael Crabtree gets a few votes too since he's playing on an undefeated team. Wouldn't it be dramatic if Crabtree steals votes from Harrell and McCoy/Tebow wins??
  5. Penn State - I am still bitter from last Saturday night (because I was there), so deep down I was rooting for the Iowa Hawkeye upset. #1 in black made the kick, #1 in black got some serious tail on Saturday night, and Penn State's hopes to be #1 were erased for the season. I wonder if Daryll Clark is being blamed for the loss...
  6. BCS/Playoff - People need to understand that the BCS, NCAA & Div-1A (FBS) college football is ALL ABOUT MONEY. Until this changes, there will never be a playoff system that works for all 106 interested parties. Hey Pete Carroll, win your games and you're in. You have no room to speak after losing to OREGON STATE. OREGON F-ING STATE!@!!!!
My way too early predictions:
  • Texas Tech beats Florida (BCS Championship Game)
  • USC beats Penn State
  • Boise State beats Missouri
  • North Carolina beats Pittsburgh (would anyone watch this?)
  • Alabama beats Utah
Now, onto a League that utilizes a playoff format...
  1. Baltimore's running back by committee (McGaayyhee, McPlain, Rice Noodle) is a fantasy nightmare. It's worse than Denver's situation.
  2. Tennessee Titans - who saw this coming? I need to check the Football Prospectus...
  3. Big Ben should have waited another week before attempting to return. Arguably, the same result transpires behind Leftwich v. Colts... Bob Sanders makes the Colts D completely different. Jekyll & Hyde effect...
  4. Is this finally the season for the 'Zona Cards??? Playoffs???
  5. Fantasy Player OY = Drew Brees. And I picked Peyton 11th overall...
  6. Fantasy Flubs OY = All players on IR
For the OSU fan in me, The Jekyll & Hyde just made me think of next year's RB class: Jamall Berry & Carlos Hyde.. J&H t-shirts anyone?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Another Good Cause

My co-worker Amy, in collaboration with what is currently a team of five individuals, has put together a group looking to help facilitate micro-economic growth in the villages of developing nations. The genesis of their passion and efforts was based on a trip to three small villages in Bolivia.

It's an honorable act of goodwill worth sharing.



Check it out here.

(Amy, I hope you don't mind my borrowing one of your images from the website. I can remove at your immediate request)...

Monday, November 3, 2008

My Top 25 (CFB)

  1. Texas Tech - It's my simpleton belief that if you beat the #1 team in the Nation and you too were undefeated, you get to be #1... Graham Harrel is the new Heisman favorite. His management of the offense is ridiculous. If people consider Penn State's offense to be "HD", Texas Tech's must be "HD" on 'roids. Texas' players looked like they were standing still.
  2. Alabama - The holy SEC's only remaining undefeated team... Nick Saban is a two-faced bastard, but he knows how to win. LSU stands between "Bama and the SEC Championship game. My guess is that they get there and hold off a steamrolling Gator squad... In a close one.
  3. Penn State - By default, they get the 3rd spot. Undefeated in the Big Ten is still undefeated. They needed a fumble to beat the Buckeyes.
  4. Texas - Lost on a miracle catch & throw with eight seconds left on the road. Their game last week vs. Oklahoma State showed that they were beatable.
  5. Florida - They've caught fire the past two weeks pounding LSU and Georgia. It tells me that LSU and Georgia are both overrated. They play nobody until the SEC Championship game.
  6. Oklahoma State - The only blip on their record is a loss to Texas in Austin. That's not too shabby.
  7. Oklahoma - The only blip on their record is a loss to Texas on neutral ground.
  8. USC - Aside from beating Ohio State in their backyard, what has this team accomplished? They lost to Oregon State and have beat up on their pansy conference opponents. They play nobody until their bowlgame.
  9. Missouri - would they beat TCU or Boise State on a neutral field? I think so.
  10. Ohio State - see Missouri comment
  11. Georgia - see Missouri comment
  12. Boise State - you're allowed to schedule BIG non-conference games (Oregon does not count). Do it and prove your worth. Quit your whining.
  13. TCU - Beating BYU was big and is a one-loss to Oklahoma. You should not question why you're down here if you can't play with the big boys.
  14. Utah - so you beat a really really crappy Michigan team by two points. What else? This team loses to TCU this week.
  15. LSU - your QB situation is ugly. Until then, you're a filler in the Top 25.
  16. BYU
  17. Michigan State
  18. North Carolina
  19. Maryland
  20. Ball State
  21. West Virginia
  22. Florida State
  23. California
  24. Georgia Tech
  25. Pittsburgh

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Random Thought of the Day

I just had a random daydream involving the following:


...combined with drinking a "40" and yelling hysterically....

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Daily 5 (Sick @ Work)

Five things I would love to see this Saturday night when Ohio State plays Penn State in the 'Shoe. My "silver bullets" if you will.

  1. 3-4 Defense: We've got a lion's share (no pun intended) of linebackers. Imagine this line-up: Heyward, Gibson, Larimore + Freeman, Laurinaitis, Sabino/Spitler, and Homan. Swap in Hines once in a while if necessary.
  2. Dual QB Pistol: Boeckman still has an arm and can read coverages. Picture Boeckman in the Pistol formation with Pryor to his left and Beanie behind him. I ask you this defenses around the world; now what?
  3. More DB/Safety Blitzes: I'd like to say more blitzes period, but our coaches aren't bright enough to bring creative pressure... See bullet point #1. How do you think the Patriots and Steelers do it? Reference: MNF game 10/20/2008.
  4. Birth of a Star: Let Pryor pass the ball for 200+ yards. tOSU ran the ball two-thousand consecutive plays against Michigan State. I'd also like to see some screen passes, reverses, and WR sweeps to keep the defense honest. If Boeckman could do it last year, Pryor can do it this year.
  5. Cow Bells: what's more annoying than a roar or Zombie Nation? Cow bells. Rhetorically appropriate in Columbus, Ohio.

Hey Coach, which guy am I supposed to block again?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Spoiled Buckeye Fans (B@W)

Eight weeks into this year's Ohio State football season, I've finally come to grasps that we (myself included), as a collective scarlet & gray Kool-aid drinking mass, are a bunch of spoiled drunkards. I've refrained from posting on the Bucknuts.com free message boards and bite my tongue in the office when Buckeye debates find their way through the cubicle mazes. Between the media and the masses (via message boards), I've come to the conclusion above based on the following laundry list:

1. Since 2002, Ohio State has finished no worse than #4 in the country (except in 2004). Let's not forget three National Championship appearances - Champ in 2002, runner-up in 2006, runner up in last year. Erase the 2004 season (except the Ted Ginn Jr. highlight reels) and the Buckeyes have finished no worse than #4 since 2002!!! Heck, we've only lost once to scUM during that time period and drubbed Notre Dame and Charlie "ICanHas Cheezburger" Weis along the way. In a society that screams "what have you done for me lately" we've lost perspective on how good Coach Tressel has been to us.

2. It's not like we lost to Youngstown State, or Ohio, or Troy, or Minnesota, or Purdue. Take solace Buckeye fans, it isn't the end of the world. We have a future all-world QB who needs a year to get the system under his belt (and wait for the slow offensive, offensive linemen in front of him to graduate). This guy is a gamer. I'm going to offer up another thought here - the guys around him are holding him back from his potential. Robiskie and Hartline make great possession receivers. Robo was clutch in 2006 when he was flanked by TG-II and Gonzo. He was a perfect 3WR. His limitations were magnified only after we waltzed into the 2007 NC game and he ran into (quite literally) bigger, faster DBs. Hartline, contrary to popular belief, is not the second coming of Gonzo. Ray Small should stay in the dog-house for his on-field performance as much as his off-field shenanigans. Posey has showed flashes of excellence and it looks like Lamaar "Flash" Thomas is getting his shot at least on kick-off returns.

3. Recruiting boon. The 2008 class was pretty special. In fact, I'll go on step further and say as a result of the 2008 class, expectations for the 2008-2009 team were exponentially higher. The coaches, Mr. Brewster, Block O and company brought in another Top 5 class. Unfortunately, I think most of us failed to recognize that most of the kids probably wouldn't get to see the field this year. With 20 returning starters from a NC team, what would you expect? I sit behind a desk all day and I understand that politics and bureaucry exist in every organization, team, or group. We can't get away from it. What if you, yourself, were the starting WR (with three letters) coming off an almost-double digit TD, 1,000 yard receiving season and people were calling for your head/spot? Or worse, you're the 5th year senior QB who's plateaued as a QB and you lost your job not because you're not an intelligent, skilled QB, but because your OL is analogous to Swiss Cheese and stagnant blocking dummies?

4. He's only 19. Yes, Terrelle "the Future" Pryor, is only 19. There's a reason why recruits and freshmen are called "prospects" and not "Pro-Bowlers". Give him a break. Sure, he doesn't make reads quickly and he doesn't know how to throw the ball away (or in his case, flick his wrist) but he hasn't LOST a game for us (i.e. Boeckman v. Illinois) by making mistakes, fumbling or throwing INTs. We've been exposed as a better than average team with a better than average defense with a work-in-progress offense. In a season full of injuries and 'if'-statements, we're all left to wonder what would have happened if Beanie hadn't tore up his toe/foot. Who knows, Boeckman might still be the starting QB and we might have lost by fewer points to USC. Which would you prefer?

In conclusion, it should be noted that the Ohio State football machine is not obsolete or broken, merely in the shop for repairs (like Beanie's toe) and some reconfigurations. It's safe to say that we lost a team for the ages in 2005 (Hawk, Carpenter, Whitner, Pittman, Holmes) and 2006 (Heisman, Ginn, Gonzo). We were fortunate to see teams like WVU and Mizzou take it on the chin late last year to vault our beloved Buckeyes into the NC game against LSU in LSU's backyard. I think it proved that we probably weren't quite there yet and far be it for me to say that these most-honorable seniors have become complacent and lazy having two shots at the NC but the way they're playing this year, maybe they have been.

If you're a golfer you can appreciate this - there's always the next hole or the next 9 or the next 18. 2008 isn't a "complete failure" - we're 6-1 with five games left... and we'll beat up scUM again. Would you rather be 6-6 and beat scUM or 10-1 and lose to scUm? Get off the high horses and appreciate the success our university has had over the last 6-7 years and realize that 2009 and 2010 have potential written all over them.

And realize we PWN Michigan in the 21st century.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Election 2008 - Daily 5

Below are five reasons I'm not voting for McCain. This should be interesting...

1. Coronary Artery Clot - during the debate last night, I was wondering if he wouldn't sit down because he was afraid he wouldn't be able to get back up. He carried himself like an 80 year old man.
2. Sarah Palin - millionaire governor from Alaska. Personally I don't think she's bright enough, let alone experienced enough, to be President (compounded with thought #1 above). If I wasn't worried about the physical health of Presidential candidate, I could care less. How many people are going to think: "Wow, that's the face of a strong America!"? I would vote for Hillary - to be clear, this is not a sexist opinion. Don't start me on experience either - I'm happy voting in inexperience rather than getting left high and dry with more inexperience.
3. Red - well, the party's color is consistent with the bloody colored stock market (and my personal portfolio). Do I give a damn about taxes when I just lost thousands of dollars in my investment accounts? Hell, increase taxes by 10-20% over four years and you'll STILL be lacking in what I just lost in two weeks. Fuck me.
4. "That One" - really? For all we know, this was racist, like 1940's racist. When combined with "gook" (I'm Asian), this one really takes the cake. What's next? Dagos and chinks? "Senator Obama" would have been just fine.
5. Lesser of Two Evils - this is what it comes to every four years anyway. 2008 is no different... but one of the two will bring change. The other will bring George W. Bush's empty suit, shoes and shadow. Honestly, I'm more anti-McCain than I am pro-Obama.



It's a democrazy.. I mean, democracy.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Bailout Explained


The best read I've found regarding the proposed "bailout" legislation that failed yesterday and sent the Dow down 700 points.
Click Me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Beleaguered Buckeye

So my sacrilegious prediction was considerably 60% correct. I accurately guessed USC's score and picked the winner. I KNEW I should have made a bet on the 11.5 point spread... At least I would have come out a winner even in embarrassing defeat.

The game was over at halftime. Our team looked defeated on both sides of the ball and honestly, I don't really remember watching much, if any, of the second half. If OSU somehow makes the long FG and makes it 7-6 and keeps it a respectable 14-6 at halftime, you've still got a shot. You're a TD and 2-pt conversion away from tying it up. Instead, that idiot wearing #17 in white throws a pick-six and you're walking down the tunnel down by 18 at the half. Good night.

It's Terrelle Pryor time. Who cares if he hasn't thrown or completed a pass longer than 10 yards in his college career. He KNOWS how to and he DID IT in high school. The media and CFB pundits talk him down like he's never thrown a pass farther than 10 yards down the field. I'm confident that he does it in practice against a decent (once considered) vaunted defense. You still have to make the pass. He's the X-factor. When you play a mobile QB, you can "hide" the indiscretions of what is currently a MAC or Conference USA-level offensive line. If you can run, that means the defense has one less guy in pass coverage because he has to "spy" the QB. By the way, while we're on the page of putting athletes on the field, take Robiskie (who's inevitably injured) off the field and get some guys with speed on the field. Why do we look slow? Because we have all of our slow players on the field. Devier Posey - track star. Lamarr Thomas - track star. I won't knock Hartline because the guy knows how to run a route and you need that. Put our fast guys out in space and let them work. It's pointless if you want your wide receiver to run the same corner and out routes over and over without at least one fly pattern to mix things up. When was the last time we ran a reverse? Or a bubble screen? Or a double underneath crossing pattern?

It was painful to hear USC's defensive players in the post-game telling the reporters that they knew EXACTLY what OSU was doing on both sides of the ball. (Transition - poor coaching rant).

Bollman is at fault for having four inept returning starters who are malprepared for D-lines that are of equal size and speed (or better). He's done nothing to convince me that he knows what he's doing with those guys in the trenches.

Heacock is at fault for failing to utilize the individual skill and speed of the athletes that I know we have on our team. Soft zone, 3-deep coverage? Give me a break. Dantonio beat up The U in 2002 by playing an aggressive man-coverage, 8-in the box, blitz-style defense. Granted, offenses have become more spread in nature, but that doesn't mean you drop seven guys back in zone on every play. It's an awful scheme and it's painful to watch. It was pretty hard for Ken Dorsey to complete a pass off his backside.

Oh, fire these morons for failing to make any positive adjustments at halftime. Going back to the cookie-cutter BS is not an adjustment. It's conceding victory to the opponent.

I don't want to bash Tressel, but I will critique him for his failure to hire a true offensive coordinator. Once upon a time Ohio State was an offensive machine. We have the talent, but we don't have the right coach to utilize that talent to its fullest. Come on. Ohio State has a multitude of athletes STARTING in the NFL today. You mean to tell me they exponentially improved post-college to crack the starting line up in the pros?

Anyway, I'm not convinced that we can or will beat Troy at home this weekend. The drunk & belligerent student section won't be available for another week. The following reasons leave me weary about Saturday's game:
  1. We can't score. 3 points against USC? Not having Beanie means not having a true running game. But again, that falls back on Bollman and the O-Line. Boone embarrassed and talking sh*t? That's three big games in a row. Hmm.. maybe he just sucks? Five turnovers against OU and we only put up 26 TOTAL points. That's 5 points per turnover... sad. Maybe the inability to score in the redzone against Youngstown State should have been a ginormous indicator of things to come (and worry about).
  2. Quarterback. A two-QB system doesn't work. It hasn't worked and it won't ever work. See Stanley Jackson-Joe Germaine. Justin Zwick-Troy Smith. Boeckman-Pryor. Put the #1 recruit out of high school from 2007-2008 in and let him eat. If your 3-wood isn't working, maybe you should take out the driver... Boeckman might be a 5-wood or a hybrid at best.
  3. Dissonance in the locker room. Boeckman is a team captain who I'm sure has his fair share of commited followers in the locker room. Alex Boone extrordinaire included. But for those who are the most competitive, those who hate to lose with the greatest of passions, they must be clamoring for Pryor. I know one guy who's rooting for #2. The other guy on defense wearing the same number. He's also the only guy who showed any visual emotion and heart in the USC game. Needless to say, a divided college locker room may be more viral than an NFL or high school locker room.
  4. Hangover. You just lost 35-3. You just got over your jet lag from flying back from the west coast. Hell, you probably feel like you just lost a few thousand bucks (no pun intended) in Vegas. You've got Buckeye fans who are scratching their heads and beleaguered on all accounts. This was supposed to be a team that would come in and dominate with its 20 returning starters and a fresh Top-5 recruiting class.
My fearless prediction for Saturday...

Ohio State - 24

Troy - 22


Somehow we win in a way-too-close one... .

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Predictions..

..from a rationale Buckeye Fan...

I'm anxious. Not the excited kind, but the nervous kind. The spread is -10.5, but I think it should be -14.5 if we're Beanie-less.

I'm worried because of our outings against UF & LSU (41-14 & 38-24)...

Accordingly, my sacrilegious prediction for Saturday night's game is:

USC - 35
OSU - 22

Prove me wrong, Buckeyes!!!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Fantasy Football '08 $$ League (Gambling)

"With the 10th pick in the 2008, Fantasy Football League draft, Rice Noodle selects..."

And so it went. 3 hours of a Tuesday night. 14 pitchers of beer. Two large pep & sausage pizzas. 180 players (and/or Defensive teams). $20 a head for the food and beverages... and 10 of the pitchers were Labatt Blue, not Bud Light.


Anyway... This is pre-season, post-draft analysis of my 2008 squad. I have not yet pillaged the waiver wire or offered up terrible trade proposals.

Background: each privately organized fantasy football league has it's own set of rules and scoring parameters. So before I'm castrated for picking Peyton Manning in the 10-slot, I'll paint the landscape.
  • QBs - 1 pt per 20 yds passing. 6 pts per TD. Bonuses for eclipsing the 250 yard passing mark (and other hurdles) and for 'big plays' (i.e. pass play over 20, 30 and 50 yards).
  • RBs - 1 pt per 10 yds rushing. 6 pts per TD. Bonuses for eclipsing the 75 yard mark (and other hurdles) and for 'big plays'. 1 pt per 10 yds receiving.
  • WRs/TEs - 1 pt per 10 yds receiving. 1 pt per reception (does NOT apply to RBs). Bonuses mirror those of rushing.
  • Ks - standard scoring. 3 pts per FG. Bonuses for distance. 1 pt per extra point.
  • Team Defense/ST - 6 pts per TD. 2 pts per INT or fumble. 1 pt per sack. Bonus for points allowed. Special teams scoring is included. (makes Chicago more valuable via Devin Hester)
Other notable notes: no negative points; partial points allowed; must start 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 K, and 1 DEF. No flex position here... and no minuses for Brett Favre's 12 INTs... Payouts to the #1 and #2 in total points and the playoffs. Potential winnings: $800.

The Roster:
  • Quarterbacks - Peyton Manning; Matt Schaub; Tarvaris Jackson
  • Runningbacks - Laurence Maroney; Selvin Young; Maurice Morris; Fred Taylor
  • Wide Receivers - Reggie Wayne; Anquan Boldin; Brandon Marshall; Nate Burleson; Isaac Bruce
  • Tight Ends - Antonio Gates; Owen Daniels
  • Kickers - Rob Bironas; some other guy
  • Defense - SD Chargers; Philadelphia Eagles
The Pros: I'm very content with a positive outlook on my QB, WR, and TE situation. I'm not sure if there will be much drop-off by the Colts scoring machine, but Reggie Wayne is still a gamebreaker, Boldin has the huge upside after the catch, and Brandon Marshall is a 3rd-year WR (which in fantasy-world, means BREAKOUT season). I have to wait until Week 2 to reap the rewards from Mr. Marshall... Nate Burleson is one of the only healthy, experienced WRs in Seattle and therefore should see plenty of passes. Many forget that he was a stud in Minnesota... Isaac Bruce was a 14th round pick out of need, but he's the current #1a in San Fran. He knows the Mad Martz pass-happy system from his days as a Ram (LA AND STL). Antonio Gates was the fourth overall TE taken in the draft behind KWII, Witten, and Tony Gonzo. It was a value pick during the run on TEs and should have another great season. He was rated higher than my 25th ranked WR, so essentially I have four top-25 receivers in the league. Note: Burleson and Bruce are both starters at the top of their respective depth charts. I was the first to steal the Chargers off the board, hoping to couple them with the Patriots DEF, but to no avail. Needless to say, the Eagles should be a good bye-week fill-in and if Brian Westbrook takes a punt to the house, I get 6 points!

The Cons: I didn't draft a RB until round 6 and consequently got stuck with Maroney. All four of my RBs are question marks with big exclamation points behind them. It's just a matter of which one of the four blows up this year. If Brady goes down or sits, Maroney should get his fair share of touches. Young is playing in a system that allows for 1,500 yard rushers. Maurice Morris is playing behind a strong O-Line in Seattle (and Owen Schnittker - the monster from WVA) and held his own when Shaun was out. Then there's Fred "Fragile" Taylor. I had to take him based on historical production and a moderate projection. He was the best available RB after the gentleman in the 9th slot drafted LenDale White leaving me defenseless... and dejected. I think most of these guys should be able to rack up 75 yards and a TD here and there. My sleepers are Young and Morris... but would have preferred to be sleeping on Jonathan Stewart (CAR) or Matt Forte (CHI) instead.

Assessment: I graded out 4th or 5th overall according to our fantasy league guru (who didn't finish in the money last year). I was very pleased with my aerial attack options picking up Gates and Burleson much later than I anticipated. I was also pleased to not be handcuffed with drafting an "old" WR (i.e. Holt, Ocho Cinco, Harrison) or one of those little slot WRs that were popular in 2005 (Santana Moss, Steve Smith, Lee Evans). I admit, I do have an "old" WR in Isaac Bruce, but he's a system WR... Remember Rod Smith? Wayne Chrebet? Plus, who else is JT O'Sullivan going to throw to? Picking up Peyton Manning,Gates and the SD defense will help me sleep at night (and consequently set my rosters on Sunday mornings).

Final Grade: B+. I'm missing a true 2nd tier RB. I really wanted Thomas Jones, but he was snatched up three picks before I would have made the pick in the round that I wanted my 2nd RB. I settled for Selvin Young. I would have also liked to have grabbed the Patriots DEF as well... (perhaps a trade will be offered here..). Toss in Thomas Jones, LenDale White or Brandon Jacobs to complement Maroney, and I bump my grade up to an A-.

I didn't pick a kicker until Round 17 and 18... and didn't lose any sleep last night.

Monday, August 18, 2008

I Need These (Daily 5)

I moved into my new apartment this weekend. It's a quiant, two-bedroom townhome that rents for a ridiculously affordable $660/month. Though I'm on track to save $75/month just by moving (my previous rental rate was $735/month), that $75 has already been reallocated towards a "family" membership at the local high-end fitness center... On a semi-related note, the "raise" I received earlier this year, has been reallocated towards my golf-addiction. Anyway, this was a very introduction to today's Daily 5 which all require money:

1. Washer & dryer - I've been advised that this is a good investment, especially if you're willing to pay the extra $200-$300 up-front to get the more energy efficient models. In the long run (i.e. a one-year horizon), you break-even on your energy bill and everything after that is gravy. I'm tempted, but I also don't have $2,000 sitting around. I don't have a washer-dryer now, and once my fiance' (who lives down the street) moves back home, I'll be washer-dryer-less and I'll have to buy the set. Estimated cost: $1,500 to $2,000.

2. XBox360 or PS3 - I might as well be living in the Mesozoic era. I don't have either of these consoles and therefore, have no gaming platform to complement an HDTV. This is extremely disheartening for a sports-gamer like myself. NCAA Football and Madden just aren't the same... and I feel like I'm still in college (I had the same PS2 in college). If somehow I end up with a PS3, I'll be BluRay ready too.. Estimated cost: $350-$400.

3. Wedding Band(s) - We haven't figured out who's paying for what.. but it's not like our families are going to buy these for us. Estimated cost: $1,000-$?,???.

4. Golf Bag - I currently carry a golf bag that only have four pockets which creates a lot more "bag chatter" than necessary. It has plenty of compartments for tees, balls, etc., however, I would very much like to upgrade to a bag with 8-13 pockets. Estimated cost: $89-$200.

5. Dining Table/Bar - Two bar stools, no table. Food will be consumed in the living room. Estimated cost: $150-$250

I admit, item number 1 & 5 make me sound old and boring.


Yours for the low price of $1,100... just the washer.