2013 Mock Draft (updated 3/15)

This mock draft has been updated for your mockery.

1. Kansas City Chiefs - Luke Joeckel, OT (TAMU) - So they traded for Alex Smith... While I don't believe that he's any better than the incumbent Matt Cassel, Joeckel might actually give Alex Smith some more time to stand in the pocket... and eventually get sacked or throw the ball in the dirt.
2. Arizona Cardinals (trade w/JAX) - Geno Smith, QB (WVU) -  Four names that Larry Fitzgerald has nightmares about. Kolb, Skelton, Lindley, Drew Stanton. 
3. Oakland Raiders - Dion Jordan, DE  (Oregon) - RIP Al Davis, but I'm confident that the Raiders won't let me down here and will take a guy who had great measurables at the combine. 
4. Philadelphia Eagles (trade from JAX) - Eric Fisher, OT (WMU) - If the Eagles draft any player besides an OL, I'll be shocked and appalled... And consequently, I would expect Chip Kelly to be gone within two years.
5. Detroit Lions - Dee Milliner, CB (Bama) - I watched the Detroit Lions lose more games by giving up huge 3rd down passing conversions. Spivey will hopefully return from IR to shore up the safety position. 
6. Cleveland Browns - Cordarelle Patterson, WR (UT) - With Paul Kruger signed at the OLB spot and the team focusing on FA defensive backs, they need to fill the gaping hole on offense called Wide Receiver. 
7. Jacksonville Jags (trade w/AZ) - Jarvis Jones, LB (UGA) - QUICK! Name one outside linebacker on the Jaguars' roster. Couldn't do it huh? They need a huge upgrade at LB and could easily trade further down and still make this pick. 
8. Buffalo Bills - Matt Barkley QB (USC) - This draft pick is one of need. He's going to be another USC-alumni QB bust in the NFL. Geno is gone and the Bills are terribly desperate; terrible and desperate.
9. NY Jets - Keenan Allen, WR (CAL) - Sanchez has no one to throw the ball to. Here's a guy in the mold of TO who can get it done. 
10. Tennessee Titans - Shariff Floyd, DT (UF) - He's the best player available and fits the Titans 4-3 scheme.
11. San Diego Chargers - Lane Johnson, OT (OU) - Red rover, red rover, send a friggin' offensive lineman right over. As a fantasy owner of Phillip Rivers, I watched #17 running for his life and throwing off his ass every weekend.
12. Miami Dolphins - Xavier Rhodes, DB (FSU) - With Mike Wallace signed and Hartline extended, I expect the Fins to address a Swiss-cheese like secondary.
13. Tampa Bay Bucs - Bjoern Werner, DE (FSU) - I have no idea who any of the TB defensive ends are, so I know they can't be very good. Bucs will need to address secondary in the next couple rounds. The Bucs personnel coordinator should follow up a solid 2012 draft with an equally solid 2013 draft.
14. Carolina Panthers - Barkevious Mingo, LB (LSU) - First of all, this guy sounds like he came off Key & Peele's All-Star game roster. Second of all, putting Mingo next to Kuechly is reminiscent of the Panthers' glory days with Dan Morgan and Will Witherspoon. 
15. New Orleans Saints - Johnathan Hankins, DT (OSU) - This is more or less a homer pick, but I think the Saints like defensive players from Ohio State (see: Malcolm Jenkins & Will Smith). 
16. St. Louis Rams - Star Lotulelei, DT (Utah) - Maybe a reach? If the Rams come to terms with Jake Long (scUM), I think it makes sense that they address the defense..
17. Pittsburgh Steelers - Johnathan Banks, DB (MissSt) - Steelers could take another offensive lineman or a linebacker here, but my guess is they'll try to clean up some of the mess in the back four first..
18. Dallas Cowboys - Chance Warmack, OG (Bama) - O-line or linebacker. I'm pretty sure this guy will be the next best player available. Jerry Jones might do (and will do) something stupid so I won't be surprised if he drafts Collin Klein.
19. NY Giants - Manti T'eo, ILB (ND) - I hear the Giants need a new linebacker.... Defense looked like a shell of itself in 2012. I wonder how many catfish live in NYC?
20. Chicago Bears - Johnathan Cooper, OG (UNC) - see SD Chargers above. Jay Cutler needs someone to protect him from Suh.
21. Baltimore Ravens (trade from STL) - Eric Reid, SS (LSU) - We all know how important Ed Reed is to the Baltimore defense... Sounds too easy to just bring in another Reid, right?
22. Minnesota Vikings - Desmond Trufant, DB (Wash) - Another Swiss-cheese secondary. Vikes are making moves in the FA market, but that also included releasing cornerstone (pun intended) Antoine Winfield.
23. Cincinnati Bengals - Kenny Vaccaro, S (Texas) - 1st round is too high to draft a RB or any of the remaining OTs... maybe they can trade down and reach for one late. 
24. Indianapolis Colts - Datone Jones, DE (UCLA) - Lots of holes on the defensive side of the ball... Can Jones be the next Dwight Freeney?
25. Seattle Seahawks - Sheldon Richardson, DT (Mizzou) - He goes here due to a major oversight on my part.. and the Seahawks DEF gets even better.
26. St. Louis Rams (trade from BAL)- Alec Olgetree, LB (UGA) - This is the Rams 2nd pick in the first round... Olgetree would be a nice addition to go with Little Animal. 
27. Green Bay Packers - Barrett Jones, C (Bama) - It's time for Jeff Saturday to retire. Bye bye.
28. SF 49ers - Matt Elam, FS (UF) - because the rich get richer. It's what happens. Not sure what other pieces the 49ers really need... and they have a TON of picks.
29. Houston Texans - Jonathan Cooper, OG (UNC) - I watched Arian Foster run great on one side of the ball and crappy on the other.. That only means one thing... 
30. NE Patriots - Robert Woods, WR (USC) - Bill B. is a draft day enigma or a 100-sided die... I'm going to say WR for fun. 
31. Denver Broncos - Kawaan Short, DT (Purdue) - I know Elvis Dumervil and Von Miller.... and that's about it.
32. Atlanta Falcons - Kevin Minter, LB (LSU) - Akeem Dent plays MLB now and had 42 solo tackles on the year. That's pretty pathetic...

Dart throwing predictions...

Offensive Rook of the Year: Geno Smith

Defensive Rook of the Year: Barkevious Mingo

2013 NFL Mock (me) Draft

Keeping up with tradition, I've decided to take a wild swing at the upcoming (April) 2013 NFL draft. Mock me, please.

1. Kansas City Chiefs - Geno Smith, QB (WVU) - If the Chiefs draft anything but a QB (unless they pick up someone via FA), we might as well go ahead and slot them here for the 2014 draft as well. Obviously Matt Cassell and Brady Quinn can't get the job done. Helen Keller could make this pick. 
2. Philadelphia Eagles (trade from JAX) - Luke Joeckel, OT (TAMU) - The greatest position of need (by far) and the Eagles can't afford to miss out on him. Other mock drafts indicate a good amount of draft depth at this position, but franchise LTs don't come along every year. 
3. Oakland Raiders - Bjoern Werner, DE  (FSU) - RIP Al Davis, but I'm confident that the Raiders won't let me down here and will take a guy who should have great measurables at the combine. He's the next JJ Watt. 
4. Jacksonville Jags (trade from PHI) - Jarvis Jones, LB (UGA) - QUICK! Name one outside linebacker on the Jaguars' roster. Couldn't do it huh? They need a huge upgrade at LB and could easily trade down and still make this pick. 
5. Detroit Lions - Dee Milliner, CB (Bama) - I watched the Detroit Lions lose more games by giving up huge 3rd down passing conversions. Spivey will hopefully return from IR to shore up the safety position. 
6. Cleveland Browns - Tavon Austin, WR (WVU) It's too bad there isn't a true Top 10 WR available (i.e. Julio Jones or AJ Green) because the glaring lack of playmakers on this offense is the biggest area of need. The defense proved it can hold its own when it needs to. New management stretches to fill the spot (Austin will probably run a 4.28).. and hopefully it works out.
7. Arizona Cardinals - Tyler Wilson, QB (ARK) - Three names that Larry Fitzgerald has nightmares about. Kolb, Skelton, Lindley.  IMO Wilson is a better prospect than Barkley...
8. Buffalo Bills - Damontre Moore, DE (TAMU) - I honestly don't know much about this guy, but what I do know, is that Mario Williams and the Bills DEF were both MIA in 2012. The Bills wait until the 2nd Round to draft a QB from their backyard (Ryan Nassib, Syracuse).
9. NY Jets - Keenan Allen, WR (CAL) - Sanchez has no one to throw the ball to. Here's a guy in the mold of TO who can get it done. Defense looks even better with Revis back from injury island. 
10. Tennessee Titans - Star Lotulelei, DT (Utah) - I saw this man child eat up the 4 & 5 star USC OL on national TV. I presume that he'll be able to do the same in the pros, that is, if he doesn't take plays off. Plays with a tremendous motor (and emotion) but conditioning might be the main issue at 350lbs. 
11. San Diego Chargers - Jake Matthews, OT (TAMU) - Red rover, red rover, send a friggin' offensive lineman right over. As an owner of Phillip Rivers, I constantly watched #17 running for his life and throwing off his ass.
12. Miami Dolphins - Xavier Rhodes, DB (FSU) - With Allen and Austin both off the board, I expect the Fins to fix a Swiss-cheese like secondary.
13. Tampa Bay Bucs - Manti Te'o, LB (ND) - I have no idea who Mason Foster is, but I know he's not very good. Bucs will need to address secondary in the next couple rounds. The Bucs personnel coordinator should follow up a solid 2012 draft with an equally solid 2013 draft.
14. Carolina Panthers - Barkevious Mingo, LB (LSU) - First of all, this guy sounds like he came off Key & Peele's All-Star game roster. Second of all, putting Mingo next to Kuechly is reminiscent of the Panthers' glory days with Dan Morgan and Will Witherspoon. 
15. New Orleans Saints - Johnathan Hankins, DT (OSU) - This is more or less a homer pick, but I think the Saints like defensive players from Ohio State (see: Malcolm Jenkins & Will Smith). 
16. St. Louis Rams - Taylor Lewan, OT (scUM) - I watched Lewan get pwned by Jadeveon Clowney on New Year's Day, but somehow this pick still make sense. Sam Bradford should be a happy camper this summer.
17. Pittsburgh Steelers - Johnathan Banks, DB (MissSt) - Steelers could take another offensive lineman or a linebacker here, but my guess is they'll try to clean up some of the mess in the back four first..
18. Dallas Cowboys - Chance Warmack, OG (Bama) - O-line or linebacker. I'm pretty sure this guy will be the next best player available. Jerry Jones might do (and will do) something stupid so I won't be surprised if he drafts Collin Klein.
19. NY Giants - Khaseem Green, OLB (Rutgers) - I hear the Giants need a new linebacker.... Defense looked like a shell of itself in 2012.
20. Chicago Bears - Eric Fisher, OT (Central Michigan) - see SD Chargers above. Jay Cutler needs someone to protect him from Suh.
21. Baltimore Ravens (trade from STL) - Eric Reid, SS (LSU) - We all know how important Ed Reed is to the Baltimore defense... Sounds too easy to just bring in another Reid, right?
22. Minnesota Vikings - Cordarrelle Patterson, WR (Tenn) - I've read three mock drafts that all have Patterson going to the Vikings. I'm going to play copy-cat here.
23. Cincinnati Bengals - Ezekiel Ansah, DE (BYU) - Mike Brown is a cheapskate who won't resign FA Michael Johnson even though he had a tremendous year. This kid is relentless.
24. Indianapolis Colts - Matt Elam, SS (UF) - if he can be the next Bob Sanders, sans injury bug, Pagano will have his leader in the secondary for years to come.
25. Seattle Seahawks - Sheldon Richardson, DT (Mizzou) - He goes here due to a major oversight on my part.. and the Seahawks DEF gets even better.
26. St. Louis Rams (trade from BAL)- Arthur Brown, LB (K-State) - This is the Rams 2nd pick in the first round... Brown would be a nice addition to go with Little Animal. 
27. Green Bay Packers - Barrett Jones, C (Bama) - It's time for Jeff Saturday to retire. Bye bye.
28. SF 49ers - Sharrif Floyd, DT (UF) - because the rich get richer. It's what happens. Not sure what other pieces the 49ers really need.
29. Houston Texans - Jonathan Cooper, OG (UNC) - I watched Arian Foster run great on one side of the ball and crappy on the other.. That only means one thing... 
30. NE Patriots - Robert Woods, WR (USC) - Bill B. is a draft day enigma or a 100-sided die... I'm going to say WR for fun. 
31. Denver Broncos - Jesse Williams, DT (Bama) - I know Elvis Dumervil.... and that's about it.
32. Atlanta Falcons - Kevin Minter, LB (LSU) - Akeem Dent plays MLB now and had 42 solo tackles on the year. That's pretty pathetic...

Dart throwing predictions...

Offensive Rook of the Year: Geno Smith

Defensive Rook of the Year: Barkevious Mingo

Monday. Gross.

I'm sure I'm one of several million people in America right now suffering from a Fantasy Football hangover or just woke up from sleeping with a Fantasy Football butterface. You're feeling an great level of regret and might even feel a little sick to your stomach. You wish you would have drafted better (+ 2 weeks ago), or you're lamenting the failure to start the right player. As a bonus, you probably thought that going with the no-brainer pick (New England) in a survivor league would be painless. Turns out, the no-brainer pick was a shot of bad tequila and everyone lost. You still have a bad taste in your mouth.  It's about this time that I say I'm not playing any sort of Fantasy Football next year. But inevitably I'll be back... Maybe my Wes Welker pick won't kill me in the end - it is after all, only week 2...

It's Time For Lessons

9-11. I don't have an amazing story to tell. I was fortunate to not lose a loved one from the horrific events of September 11, 2001. But I do sympathize with all who did as their lives were forever changed. It was about 8:50am and I was driving to work listening to 99.7 The Blitz. Instead of hearing Howard Stern talk about music, drugs or sex, I found myself listening to a news broadcast about a helicopter crashing into the Pentagon. About 10 minutes later, as I pulled into the Tuttle Crossing Mall parking lot, the commentary switched over to a panicked news reporter. A plane had just hit the World Trade Center. To me, the moments unfolded like a Steve Berry fictional novel and it wasn't until I saw the images on the TGIFriday's TV that I believed what I had heard. I was sent home from work that day because the mall closed for security reasons. I spent the rest of the day watching it all over and over again on TV. That's where I was 11 years ago.

Me Myself & I. While I'm fully confident that no one I know reads this unvisited blog, I'm glad I have a place to mine my thoughts and boggled ideas. The internet won't judge you (unless you allow comments) or poke fun at you for making a stupid face.

If You Can't Get Off The Tee. I need golf lessons. Again. With a private instructor. It's arguably the most frustrating game/activity/hobby I know, yet, I manage to be addicted to it even though I'm absolutely terrible. Yesterday was mostly a shit-show, hitting zero fairways and finding a way to lose 8 balls during a scramble. My long irons were akin to foul balls and grounders. On the bright side (which is what always brings me back, like a bad drug), my short game, save two shots, was actually impressive, even for my standards. The wedges were dialed in. One of these days I'll put it all back together like I did one time three years ago and shoot an 84 again.  

But I do enjoy the attire. I rock these. Admit it. You're jealous. I wish they came in red though... Urban Meyer would disapprove of the blue.

Bleeding Scarlet Profusely. ESPN All-Access and ESPN Training Camp were like delicious Iron Chef prepared appetizers for the 2012 Ohio State Football season. After two games against better-than-our-usual-cupcake opponents, I've seen flashes of greatness, and flashes of brains farting. The team is like the Master Chef contestant who absolutely kills it and scores an advantage for the next round, who then goes and burns their quiche or fails to season their steak. Like the vast majority of die-hard, and educated Buckeye fans, I'm still waiting for the defense to jell. The D-Line is good, but not the immovable dominating force that they've been hyped up to be. The linebacker crew looks lost at times, as if thinking too much, and reacting too little. I imagine a bubble thought to appear with the text "Run or pass? Man or Cover 3? RB, TE or shit, I'm the spy". The defensive backs are as talented and athletic group that I've been in the tOSU back four since the days of Gamble, Fox, Nickey and Doss. The problem is they don't have a field general to MAKE SURE there aren't wildly missed assignments that go for big plays. 

My take on the offense is simple. Braxton Miller. His decision-making (and health) is going to make or break this team. Here's to hoping that Urbs and Hinton get him mentally right before the Big10 season kicks off.

End. I couldn't think of a creative way to conclude this entry. 

In Review: My NFL Draft - Way Too Early Predictions

But hell, I'll probably STILL do better than Toad McShay or those clowns at SI.com....

• Cam Newton will be a bust in the NFL, a la Ryan Leaf, JaMarcus Russell, and Akili Smith. One-year, one-hit wonder out of a wacky college offense.
• Cameron Heyward will be a steal in the draft and will get drafted by a Super Bowl contender.
• Jake Locker or Andy Dalton will win a Super Bowl in the next five years.
• Next Year's Offensive Rookie POY will be..... Mark Ingram.
• Next Year's Defensive Rookie POY will be..... Patrick Peterson.

I think I went 1/4, with one prediction still alive. 

• Wrong - So far, Newton has proved me completely wrong. I suppose the difference is the fact that Newton had a good coach behind him and mind-blowing running ability.
• Right - Heyward is starting as a 2nd-year pro and the Steelers are Super Bowl contenders every year.
• Pending - Dalton has a chance. Locker does not.
• Wrong - This one goes to Cam "Pockets full of gold figs" Newton
• Wrong - Although P2 would have finished 3rd... Von Miller ran amuck and won this one.

NFL Draft - Way Too Early Predictions

But hell, I'll probably STILL do better than Toad McShay or those clowns at SI.com....

• Cam Newton will be a bust in the NFL, a la Ryan Leaf, JaMarcus Russell, and Akili Smith. One-year, one-hit wonder out of a wacky college offense.
• Cameron Heyward will be a steal in the draft and will get drafted by a Super Bowl contender.
• Jake Locker or Andy Dalton will win a Super Bowl in the next five years.
• Next Year's Offensive Rookie POY will be..... Mark Ingram.
• Next Year's Defensive Rookie POY will be..... Patrick Peterson.

Okthxbye.

2011 NFL Mock Draft

First post in forever... and apparently Blogger doesn't support tables...

2011 NFL Mock Draft - Round One

Round 1	Player	Pos	School
1. Carolina (2-14)	Nick Fairley	DT	AUB
2. Denver (4-12)	Patrick Peterson	CB	LSU
3. Buffalo (4-12)	TRADE	x	x
trade to Cleveland	AJ Green	WR	UGA
4. Cincinnati (4-12)	Da'Quan Bowers	DE	CLEM
5. Arizona (5-11)	Blaine Gabbert	QB	MIZZOU
6. Cleveland (5-11)	TRADE	x	x
trade to Buffalo (+3rd Rd Pick)	Marcell Dareus	DL	BAMA
7. San Francisco (6-10)	Ryan Mallett	QB	ARK
8. Tennessee (6-10)	Von Miller	LB	TAMU
9. Dallas (6-10)	Prince Amukamara	CB	NEB
10. Washington (6-10)	Robert Quinn	DE	UNC
11. Houston (6-10)	Aldon Smith	LB	MIZZOU
12. Minnesota (6-10)	Cam Newton	QB	AUB
13. Detroit (6-10)	Derek Sherrod	OT	MSU
14. St. Louis (7-9)	Julio Jones	WR	BAMA
15. Miami (7-9)	Mark Ingram	RB	BAMA
16. Jacksonville (8-8)	Brandon Harris	CB	UM
17. New England (8-8)	Ryan Kerrigan	DE	PUR
18. San Diego (9-7)	Akeem Ayers	LB	UCLA
19. New York Giants (10-6)	Stephen Paea	DT	ORST
20. Tampa Bay (10-6)	Adrian Clayborn	DE	IOWA
21. Kansas City* (10-6)	Anthony Castonzo	OT	BC
22. Indianapolis* (10-6)	Nate Solder	OT	CU
23. Philadelphia* (10-6)	Gabe Carimi	OT	WIS
24. New Orleans* (11-5)	Aaron Williams	CB	TEX
25. Seattle* (7-9)	JJ Watt	DE	WIS
26. Baltimore* (12-4)	Jonathon Baldwin	WR	PIT
27. Atlanta* (13-3)	Jimmy Smith	CB	CU
28. New England* (14-2)	Martez Wilson	LB	ILL
29. Chicago* (11-5)	Quinton Carter	FS	OKLA
30. New York Jets* (11-5)	Corey Liuget	DT	ILL
31. Pittsburgh* (12-4)	Mike Pouncey	OG	FLA
32. Green Bay* (10-6)	Rodney Hudson	OG	FSU