Wayyyyy Too Early 2018 NFL Mock Draft

My mock draft from the previous two years never made it past the "draft" (get it?). I'm going to write this and publish it immediately.. Obviously it's way too early and I'm reaching for underclassmen who haven't declared. But it's fun to poke fun at Kiper and McShay... who each year underwhelm the masses when it comes to their hideously incorrect mock drafts.

UPDATED on 4/10/2018 with updated draft order.

1. Cleveland Clowns - first things first, this team needs to be re-branded as the Clowns with a logo to match. The Clown would not only be frightening to all involved, but would accurately depict the organization and ownership. . The pick: Sam Darnold (QB - USC). You know they're going to pick the wrong QB, right? 
2. NY Giants - Josh Rosen (QB - UCLA) - if I were head of personnel for the Giants, I would take the best O-Line available and build the team that way, but after the way Eli has been exiled, they have to part ways after this season and a QB is a must-get.
3. NY Jets - Baker Mayfield (QB - Oklahoma) - they trade up and get the guy that they ultimately want. The last QB to walk into the locker room with this much swag was a product of being the QB of an all-star team at USC and part of an extremely very weak QB class: Mark "Butt Fumble" Sanchez.
4. Cleveland Clowns - Back for more. They'll probably trade down to get Quentin Nelson (OG - ND) instead of drafting Saquon Barkley (RB - PSU).
5. Denver Broncos - This is a BPA spot... and my clearcut BPA is Bradley Chubb (DE - NCSt)
6. Indianapolis Colts - apparently they've found their QB of the future in Jacoby Brissett (bravo, Indy), so hopefully they'll address the glaring need on the O-Line and back-7. Quentin Nelson (G - Notre Dame). 
7. Tampa Bay Bucs - The TJ Ward experiment has failed miserably this season. Minkah Fitzpatrick (DB - Alabama).
8. Chicago Bears - this kid Combined his way into the Top 10: Tremaine Edwards (DE/OLB - VT)
9. SF 49ers - needs, needs, everywhere... The offense is starting to grow into something that could be special in a couple years, but the defense could use a little more TLC, especially on the outside. Denzel Ward (CB - Ohio State).
10. Oakland Raiders - Even with the return of a healthy Gareon Conley, the DBs are still four slices of Swiss cheese: Derwin James (DB - FSU). 
11. Miami Dolphins - the 'Fins have zero depth at linebacker and it wouldn't shock me to see them trade with Oakland to get their guy: Roquan Smith (LB - Georgia)
12. Buffalo Bills - something tells me that this is going to happen and he's still going to be here: Josh Allen (QB - WYO).
13. Washington Redskins - this team always feels like it's a few solid pieces away from being consistently good. They signed well during the off-season (including Alex Smith and Orlando Scandrick). The only glaring need is on the line(s): Vita Vea (DT - Washington)
14. Green Bay Packers - my ex-coworker is always mad about how porous his favorite team's defense is: Joshua Jackson (CB - Iowa)
15. Arizona Cardinals - David Johnson returns in 2018 to find a new tank to run behind... Mike McGlinchey (OT - Notre Dame)
16. Baltimore Ravens - The Ravens always seem to find some tremendous draft value (see: Ronnie Stanley). Alex Collins is fine, but everyone has seen what last year's crop of RBs has done in The League this year: Derrius Guice (RB - LSU)
17. Seattle Seahawks - is Russell Wilson getting a vote? If so, it's definitely an O-Line pick: Kolton Miller (UCLA - OT)
18. LA Chargers - the couple times I've watched this team play, they look pretty complete. I say they take the best player available and figure out other needs later: Maurice Hurst (DT - Michigan)
19. Dallas Cowboys - has anyone seen Dallas' defense lately? This one is easy: Mike Hughes (DB - UCF)
20. Detroit Lions - I'm torn between a guy like Marcus Davenport (pass-rushing phenom) and Rashaan Evans (MLB-freak). I'll go with Davenport (DL - UTSA). 
21. Cincinnati Bungals - the other Ohio team needs re-branded as well. Will the Brown-family ever fire Lewis... The O-Line is an embarrassing mess. Will Hernandez (OG - UTEP).
22. Buffalo Bills - I feel like this is the right place to insert this guy who will potentially form a solid duo in the long-term with Zay Jones for this franchise: Calvin Ridley (WR - Alabama)
23. New England Patriots - O-Line or DB. It's not BB's style to grab a DB in the 1st Round, so I'll vote for an OL guy: Connor Williams (OT - Texas). 
24. Carolina Panthers - I'm sure he won't fall this far, but hey, luck of the draft, er, draw. Christian Kirk (WR - Texas A&M)
25. Tennessee Titans - Tough to play a 3-4 when you're lacking LBs: Arden Key (OLB - LSU)
26. Atlanta Falcons - the only image I associate with the Falcons is a safety getting mean-mugged by Julian Edelman in the Super Bowl: Ronnie Harrison (S - Alabama)
27. New Orleans Saints - LB seems to be the weakest spot on this team... Harold Landry (LB - Boston College)
28. Pittsburgh Steelers - This sounds crazy, but it doesn't. Lamar Jackson (QB - Louisville). 
29. Jacksonville Jags - Jags at 29?! This has to be the twilight zone... Leighton Vander Esch (LB - Boise St)
30. Minnesota Vikings - The last Buckeye they drafted seems to be working out pretty well: Billy Price (OT - Ohio State)
31. New England Patriots - I'd personally prefer that this guy get drafted by another team, but it would fill a need and it meshes well with Coach BB's "swiss army knife" philosophy on defense. And in classic NE-style, they'll trade down and still get this guy: Sam Hubbard (DE/OLB - Ohio State). 
32. Philadelphia Eagles - I could pick anyone here and I'd be wrong: Taven Bryan (DT - Florida)