Baseball Sucks

FAIL.

I was going to write this entry as a letter to New York Yankee fans and ticketholders but I'm going to refrain because I'm assuming that most of them wouldn't even get past the title "Baseball Sucks". Contrary to some of my bretheren over at the GP, I abhor baseball. I spent two years of my childhood attempting to play in the unadulterated version known as "Little League" baseball and when I realized that I would be no more than a lead-off hitting 3rd baseman, I gave it up completely. But no, my qualms with baseball is entirely removed from my personal playing experiences, rather it is of a fiscal origin. Ignoring all the steroid talk, it disgusts me to have to watch and listen to sportshows and sports-radio give me updates about how the Yankees just shot their endless porn-like wad at yet another over-rated individual (this time Mark Teixeira). 

I assure you that I am not the only middle-class professional who believes that it is completely ludicris for four athletes to sign multi-year contracts totaling almost HALF A BILLION DOLLARS in one off-season. I cut back on Christmas gifts/spending this year and here I am having to run multiple spreadsheets to determine if I can (and want to) own a house that would cost less than $200,000. To put it in perspective, Mr. Teixeira will make $131,000 in ONE FUCKING GAME. If it's a normal 9-inning game, that's over $43,000 AN HOUR. Almost more than I make in a year.

Can you tell I'm bitter? Fuck you Steinbrenner. I hope you don't make the playoffs or lose in the first round to the Red Sox.

My second point is very simple - baseball is painfully boring to watch. Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball. Catch ball. OH MY GOD, A HIT! CHEER!!! Toss ball. Catch ball. Grab crotch. Flirt with pitcher. What? Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball.... OUT!!! Two more to go...

Anyway, for all you ticket holders, I hope you cancel your tickets this season and stick it to the man. 

It is asinine that by the time I have children and would like to take them to a sporting event, that I won't be able to afford to do so. And at that time, I'm sure baseball will still suck.

Bears win! Bears win!

or do they?

2008 Fantasy Football Recap

My vote for NFL MVP.. .and my fantasy team MVP...

I participated in two fantasy football leagues this year (one $$$, one $0.00) as well as a "pick 'em" league where I'm going to finish out of the money, but in the top 10. In the non-$-league, I've half-assed my way into third place. Joseph Addai was the biggest bust and Matt Forte was the biggest surprise. It would have been huge to have secured Forte in my pay-league... But that was not the case. In retrospect, I could have gotten him... Anyway, I wanted to embellish on what was a rollercoaster of a ride that left the gate back in early September and has since ended with the League Championship! Points-race TBD... (I'm 40 points back from first place and 10 points from second.)

SThe draft is instrumental, but certainly not the end-all-be-all (Note - I drafted 10 of 10). It's your chance to secure the crux of your team but as well all know, injuries (ala Tom Brady), busts (ala Joseph Addai) and surprises (ala DeAngelo Williams) can durastically alter the complexion of your squad from the get-go. As previously stated in September (my post-draft preseason preview and draft results), I felt very good about my QB, WR, and TE slots but my RB situation was left with much more to be desired. In hindsight, it would have behooved me to have selected a Matt Forte, LenDale White, Chris Johnson or DeAngelo Williams instead of Maroney, Taylor or S. Young. For those of you keeping score, here are the RBs that participated in e-roc's 2008 game of  running back roulette. The top four are currently on the roster:

1. Steve Slaton (Hou)
2. Pierre Thomas (NO)
3. Jonathon Stewart (Car)
4. Leon Washington (NYJ)
5. Peyton Hillis (Den) - IR
6. Ryan Torain (Den) - IR
7. Selvin Young (Den) - original draft pick
   
8. Cadillac Williams (TB)
9. Cedric Benson (Cin)
10. BJGE aka "Law Firm" (NE)
11. Laurence Maroney (NE) - original draft pick
12. Ray Rice (Bal)
13. LeRon McClain (Bal)
14. Kevin Smith (Det) - should have kept
15. Ricky Williams (Mia)
16. Dominic Rhodes (Ind) - should have kept
17. Melwelde Moore (Pit)
18. Ahman Green (Hou)
19. Julius Jones (Sea)
20. Fred Taylor (Jax) - original draft pick
21. Maurice Morris (Sea) - original draft pick
22. Deuce McAllister (NO)

Your eyes do not deceive you. I was swapping players on a weekly, if not bi-weekly, basis hoping for a player to blow-up. It should be noted that Pierre Thomas was riding the pine during his explosion against the Bears and Falcons. Needless to say, the lesson to be learned is that free agency can save your season and win you a championship. 

For those that care, here was the final roster (starters denoted with *)... Yes, Reggie Wayne was supposed to be starting, but I f'd up something earlier in the week... 

• Quarterbacks - Peyton Manning*, Tyler Thigpen, Jeff Garcia
• Runningbacks - Slaton*, Thomas*, Stewart, Washington
• Wide Receivers - Antonio Bryant*, Anquan Boldin, Brandon Marshall*, Reggie Wayne, Torry Holt* (should have kept Hixon)
• TEs - Antonio Gates* and Owen Daniels (Unchanged!! But I will admit owning Donte Rosario for one week)
• Kickers - Jason Elam*, John Kasay (I won't mention how many different K's I owned..)
• Defense - Eagles*, Falcons

This roster will change again heading into week 17 as Manning and Wayne will probably be benchwarmers at best against the Tennessee Titans (who will also be resting starters)... Good thing I have Thigpen and Bryant!

Awards:

• League Champ - You Want Rice Noodle (193 to 125)
• Points Champ - TBD after Week 17
• MVP - Peyton Manning. He started slow and even struggled against teams like Cleveland, but during the fantasy football playoffs, he was stellar, most notably recently in Weeks 15 & 16. In retrospect, Drew Brees would have been the better pick (more consistent, most points) but I won't argue with his performance as of late.
• MVFA (Most Valuable Free Agent) - I'm going to call this a tie between Steve Slaton and Antonio Bryant. Slaton may get the edge considering all the troubles I was having at RB but Bryant stepped in this week for an ailing Boldin and registered the highest non-QB point total. I also had him benched during his 200-yard breakout performance against the Panthers, but at least no one else had him...
• Thank You for Attending - Antonio Gates. After a big fat ZERO in week 15, he came through with 40 yds and two TDs.  Arguably, I could have started Owen Daniels who had a monster game against Oakland.
• Wish You Were Here - Issac Bruce. I dropped him way too early in the season, prior to Shaun Hill's ascension to starter and fantasy football starter-dom. He would have come in handy through the Bye Weeks disaster that tries to ruin all of our seasons.
• Sorry I Missed You - Matt Forte. I really should have drafted Forte instead of Maroney as my #1 running back pick. I might be in the points lead with a top-5 RB...

Looking forward to next year!

I Can Haz JoePa

I though coaches were supposed to be father figures.... not grandfather figures.

Beat SC!

Revelation of the Career Kind

On the left, what I would rather be doing. On the right, what I am doing.

Approximately 20 minutes ago, I stumbled onto the amazing fact that I have a friend who's day job is professionally described as "quality control". Her primary objective upon stepping within the walls of the workplace is to protect and insure integrity. Constraints and limitations are minimal.

She works for Nintendo. She tests games for Wii. All. Day. Long.

Now, I'm sure that her job is not as cushy as I presume it to be (I have not confirmed with the source), however, I am certain that it sounds more appealing to be PLAYING from 9-5 as opposed to being confined to a cubicle for the same period of time glued to a chair, Excel and Lotus Notes.

When I was growing up, my parents instilled within me the value of a good education. Furthermore, they encouraged the career path of a working professional as they both had done. But I missed something along the way. I failed to put two & two together. As a high school student, I was the student who did enough to get by with an A-. I want to emphasize the "-" because my efforts never deserved or warranted the natural "A" or even "A+". On the distribution curve, that was saved for the over-achievers and naturally brilliant. No, I spent a vast majority of my waking hours in grade school in front of a TV and video game console with controller in hand (and still found time to dabble in sports). Unlike the spoiled brats of the 21st century, my controller had to be physically connected to the console. Anyway, I digress. How was I so very blind to merge the value of education and career with the preexisting passion of video-gaming.

I use sports as my key witness. If I had the God-given ability to run a 4.32 second 40-yard dash or be able to throw a baseball 100+ mph, I would clearly not be sitting here typing this garbage right now. The point here is that so many individuals have dedicated their lives to eating, drinking, and sleeping a certain sport to be one of the best and "make a career" out of it. When an athlete says his dream has always been to be in the NFL, I'm convinced that the dream is not to be part of the highest level of competition, but rather, to indirectly communicate that he wants to play football for a living. Why wouldn't you want to spend your life doing what you love? (Now THAT has to sound familiar to all of us). The cornerstone of this analogy is to equate the idea that sports are games just as video games are games. Albeit, the physical toll and punishment is quite different while seated (or standing to play Wii bowling).

I spent countless hours as a child/collegian glued to my Playstation. It boggles my mind that though I put so much time into gaming that I never took the step to link the games with my studies. Why should I have been taking "breaks" to play PS2? That should have been my homework! Devil's advocate would say that it's just a hobby. But I define a hobby as an activity that one does for a "few hours a week", not a few hours a day.

Maybe it's not too late, but I'm catching the economy (and this segment of my life) at a very curious time. Switching careers altogether is probably the worst decision I can make. I'm also living in the wrong part of the country to make this delusional fantasy a reality...

...and now, back to the Excel spreadsheet....

"Her Horn Can Pierce the Sky"

Figurines currently sold out. T-shirts are available.

More Transformer Nostalgia...

Menasor (@deviantART by Dan)

Predaking !!! (Predacons) vs. Defensor (Protectobots) & Superion (Aerialbots)
(from wikipedia.org)

Sky Linx (from wikipedia.org)

*drool*...

Transformers, missing a transformation...

Devastator: It takes six, babyyyy...

It dawned on me this morning as Ld & I exchanged e-mails continuing on our "Battles" discussion that there's a void in my video gaming life. After the battles of Lionel, Captain Planet, the Hulk, and Michael Clarke Duncan had completed, I tossed out several Transformers that had the ability to merge to create even larger robots , aka Combiner Teams (i.e. Constructicons, Aerial Bots, Combaticons and Stunticons). Ld selected Devasator, a strong choice.

The 100kg anvil that landed on my proverbial foot was this: why isn't there a Transformers RPG or MMORPG? My affinity for the "Grand Theft Auto"-style of gameplay lasted a mere quarter of college. so I have no desire to want to purchase the 2008 Transformers video game. An intense, violent search via Google left me desperately seeking just one positive website that would have some knowledge of a Transformers-based video game RPG (that would play like Final Fantasy/Xenogears or even better Final Fantasy Tactics). My appetite for oversize robot destruction was temporarily satisfied by Front Mission IV (available at a local gaming exchange store for $12.99).... but the sleeping giant has been awakened...

**Editor's Note** While the RPG-style is my preference, the idea of developing a Real-Time Strategy (RTS) version could be equally amazing. In fact, it may carry a wider audience by tapping into the Warcraft, Dune, and Command & Conquer (better known as C&C) addicts. The scenario below could be amended for an RTS by introducing Energon as a mining commodity necessary for financing the construction of a base, its defenses & facilities and squad member upgrades (i.e. armor, weaponry)...

To my dismay, there were countless entries and forum posting that echo this blog entry and zero, nil, nada that would say otherwise. It is frustrating to say the least. My limited mental capacity imagines an Final Fantasy-style game that not only allows you to elect whether you want to play as the Autobots or the Decepticons, but integrates a team-building mentality that would present a gamer to build a legion of up to 20-25 characters.

For example, as you progress through a story-line written for the Autobots:

• Team Building: You travel through various junkyards and bases presenting you with the opportunity to recruit additional characters into your squad. Your play as Optimus Prime and begin with a team that includes Ratchet, and Prowl. During one of your stops, you are given the option to select 3 out of the five following Autobots: Bumblebee, Cliffjumper, Blaster, Jazz and Smokescreen. Similarly, Megatron would start with Starscream and Skywarp, then have to pick from Thundercracker, Soundwave, Sunstorm, Ramjet and Thrust. There would be inherent advantages and disadvantages to the composition of a team, which would be essential to winning certain battles.
  
• Character Development: as with other RPGs, you level up by fighting battles and you can develop the character with abilities, special attacks, and equipment. I imagine that this list of abilities, attacks and equipment would be catered to the various character types.
• Character Types: Soldiers (Cars & Jets), Medics, Communicators (audioplayer & microcassettes), Combiner, Other/Special.
• Communicators & Combiner Teams: The idea behind this would be to allow gamers to select/upgrade from a team of Soundwave + Ravage + Laserbeak to the six Constructicons.
• Other/Special Characters: Just to name a few; Insecticons, Dinobots, Terrorcons, Monsterbots, Triple Changers (!!), Six Changer (!!!). Once in a while during story battles, MAJOR characters are introduced (i.e. Metroplex/Scorponok battle stations) as allies which can not be recruited to join your squad.
  
• Random Battles: As Autobots, your battles would be with Insecticons/Piranacons and as Decepticons, your battles would be with Minivehicles/Dinobots (smaller ones to start, not fighting Grimlock or Slag over and over). Each battle would delimit a max number of Transformers you can use to fight with (4-5 in random).
  
• Story/Boss Battles: You fight Grimlock or Optimus and a team of minions here. Or maybe the Stunticons Menasor (you have to stop them from merging!). Heck, we'll throw in Ultra Magnus. Each battle would delimit a max number of Transformers you can use to fight with (6-10 in story).
• Final Battle: In order to effectively waste three hours of your life in ONE battle, you could commandeer 10-15 squad members to destroy 20 minions and multiple Boss characters.
  
• AP/HP/EP - Attack Points (each attack would require a number of AP), Health-Hit Points (your life points), Energon Points (special skill/ability points). Energon points would be used to execute a combo-attack with Soundwave + Ravage or to build Devastator. Presumably, leveling up makes it easier to defeat tougher enemies.
• Story Line - I haven't done my homework in reading the comic books, but I could default to the story-line written in the existing Transformers video game, modified for new character additions. Alternatively, the goal of the Autobots is to play "policeman" and react to Decepticons creating chaos on various planets (Ooo! landscape/terrain factor!) with a grand finale on Earth. The Misfits would target certain locations with the intent of capturing Energon cubes and ultimately destroying Optimus Prime & Crew. *Editor's Note* For the heartless and ruthless gamers, the story-line would simply be to eliminate the other faction from the universe. Progression through the story would revolve around the building and training of an army followed by countless battles in various arenas.
  

I'm sure this could be a lot more in-depth, but generally speaking, this would get a rise out of my pants and I would dedicate the 80-120 hours of gameplay necessary to complete the game. The college (maybe high school today) gamer with more time in the world than any of us, could play as the Autobots (beat the game in 60 hours, FINISH the game in 100 hours) then go play as the Decepticons (same time frame) from the same game (none of this two disk marketing bullshit). Side missions and stories along the way (from female Transformers or rogue mercenaries) would increase your gameplay by at least 10 hours. Ideally, you could buy the video game sleeve and get both disks for say, $69.99 or $39.99 individually. I WOULD buy a PS3/XBox360 if this game was on the market as described above.

Unfortunately, this game doesn't exist on the face of this planet and even if it did, those who would most enjoy and delight in its existence are now between the ages of 25 and 35 who don't have the time to play because of a 9am to 5pm day job... which I should probably get back to now...

*drool*

Picture this: Team Soundwave.

Monday Musings

(Photo by N. Arnold)

It's Monday... and I'll look like this cat in an hour or so.

• Comedians Tom Papa & Pete Lee are hilarious. It was an unexpected, but pleasant surprise to see Pete Lee a second time (first time in Vegas; live taping of Last Comic Standing). It makes a big difference to give these guys 20 minutes to complete their jokes instead of three minutes.
• Ohio State's basketball team beat a solid Notre Dame basketball team on a neutral court (in Indianapolis). Evan Turner is going to have a break-out year on offense and defense. Diebler looks more comfortable finally draining some 3's and making the extra pass... I think we're going to keep surprising people especially in the Big Ten. Michigan apparently wants some love too after beating the Dukies!
• My fantasy football team had a decent weekend, but I'm falling behind in the points race. Thanks to the Bye-week, I'm looking ahead to Week 15... P.Manning & Wayne v. Detroit is the only cupcake match-up I can see on the schedule. This might not turn out well...
  
• Florida beat the spread. Those guys in Vegas know what they're doing... I'm really sick of Tim Te-blow. As Peyton Manning is quoted as saying, I hope Te-blow "...enjoys playing fullback in the NFL...".
  
• BCS: Oklahoma v. Florida - WRONG! Texas should be in this game. Florida is going to win by double-digits. Penn State v. USC in the Rose Bowl - when is this game not going to be played in USC's back-yard? Should be a good one. Utah v. Alabama in the Sugar - should be a one-sided affair to prove that Utah didn't belong (just like Hawaii last year v. Georgia). Ohio State v. Texas in the Fiesta Bowl - I think OSU can give Texas fits on both sides of the ball considering the number of points Texas has given up this season. Hopefully Pryor will give Mack Brown nightmares of VY... Cincinnati vs. Virginia Techzzzzzzzz... Huh? Sorry, I started nodding off there...

The economy & market still sucks.

Who Would Win?

Ld (because LD is taken) and I have spent the past two days exchanging a high volume of e-mails asking the question of who would win in a hand-to-hand, duke it out battle. Below are many of the battles for which I 'blame' E for:

The Original: Carl Winslow v. Uncle Phil Banks

1. Theo Huxtable v. Fresh Prince
2. Catwoman (H. Barry) v. Invisible Girl (J. Alba)
   
3. Chuck Norris v. Jack Bauer
4. Lionel v. Captain Planet v. He-Man
   
5. Sonic v. Knuckles v. Shadow
6. Carlton v. Erkle
7. Cody v. Fresh Prince
8. Zack Morris v. Parker Lewis
9. Hellboy v. Hulk
10. Hans Gruber v. Simon Gruber
11. John McClane. Jason Statham
12. Mortal Kombat v. DC v. Marvel v. Capcom v. Tekken
13. Hines Ward v. John Stallworth
    
14. Beanie Wells v. Eddie George
15. Bubby Brister v. Tommy Maddox
16. Snorks v. Smurfs

more to come...

For all who think Ball State should be in the BCS..

BCS!!!!

"Ball State did not want to play in a game so far from their Muncie campus"... Pussies.

The Friday Whine. Wer iz mah cheez?

1. Apparently the Oprah show that aired yesterday was all about various people that had been victims of internet (e-mail & web) and phone scams. Fortunately, I was not subject to having to watch it first hand. Rather, I was given the abbreviated version which similarly made me want to vomit. The victims included (1) a woman who fell trap to a man who claimed to be a war veteran via random phone call who needed $10,000 for a surgery, (2) a woman who accepted a marriage proposal via e-mail and sent gobs of money to her future husband, and (3) a boatload of individuals who sent their 'jewelry in for cash' and subsequently never received any cash in return. These are just a few examples as I have chosen NOT to recall or waste my brain cells remembering. The name of the episode should have been called "Morons in your neighborhood". Please take away their phones, computers and access to money.
   
2. I've read some pretty ridiculous sports columns in my life (thanks to Pat Forde, Trev Alberts, and Peter King) but for some reason, the article I scanned over last night written by Jeffrey Martin made me want to throw my iBook through my window. He wrote a circular argument regarding why the "Sooners earned the Big12 South" by using the following as the crux: "it's not if you lose, it's when you lose". Now, let me reiterate the fact that he is saying Oklahoma EARNED the rights to the Big12 South. I don't understand. You don't EARN anything by losing. You LOSE by losing. Earning is defined as the result of gain through work/labor. Losing early has no explicit correlation with the definition of 'earn'. After all, "gain" & "lose" are antonyms (unless FoxSports has differing definitions). This bothers me greatly but I suppose it's the bullshit that we, as free Americans with rights to free speech, have to deal with. However, perhaps there should be legislation against idiots publishing their work. What was I doing reading FoxSports anyway?
3. I think I've exhausted this topic previously, but I just want to add that I think it's complete and utter bullshit that Notre Dame is presumably giving Charlie Weis another year to "turn things around" when Bob Davie and Tyrone Willingham (I know it was because he is black) were not given similar opportunities. I don't even want to start on the multimillion dollar contract extension that Weis received. The offensive genius has posted records of 3-9 and 6-6 following the universities generous contribution to his buffet line. Just for fun, look at ND's 2009-2010 schedule. It's clear that they want to win and compete against mediocrity.
   
4. I'll never understand people who need to smoke on their way to work (in the car) at 6am-7am. Never.
5. I'll never understand people who think eating a four-course meal from McD's is safe (or appropriate ) while driving in the morning traffic...
6. Why do people stop/slow down to observe traffic accidents? Why???
7. Allergies suck & I hate frigid weather.
   
8. The ratio of obese to non-obese in the office building I work at is at least 10 to 1. It is obvious that skinny people come here to die.
9. This is the first holiday season where I've actually felt stress from a financial perspective. Next year probably won't be any better.
10. I'm tired.

Sorry this blog entry sucked. I'll try harder next time.

Official blog lolcat #2

Um....

...Unbenounced to The Batman, The Joker had taken the form of Philip Rivers...

Noodle Points - Detroit Lions

A few reasons why this football team just plain sucks:

• William Clay Ford Sr. & Matt Millen - These are interrelated. If you build a shitty car and compound that with a shitty paint job, your once shitty car is now even more shitty. Ford built a shitty car (no pun intended) and decided to have Matt Millen paint it and add various accessories. When is Matt Millen, a former NFL LINEBACKER going to learn that wide receivers don't win games?
  
• "With the 1st pick in the 2009 NFL draft, the Detroit Lions select Michael Crabtree, Texas Tech!"
  
• Personnel - The hiring of Mad Martz and Rod Marinelli had potential save the fact that they don't have the personnel to get anything done. If you're the greatest chess player in the universe and you only get a king vs. an opponent with a full slate of pieces, you have no chance of winning. IMO, I think Florida /Alabama could beat this team on a neutral field.
  
• Player IQ - running out of the back of an end-zone results in a safety. I think you learn that in pee-wee ball.
• Quarterback - Daunte Culpepper? Um... way to go out and pick up a washed out, compulsive fumbling machine...
• Barry Sanders retired.
  

I wonder if there's a contractual clause that pays the management, coaches, and team an annual bonus for going defeated/winless... Kind of like those guys at AIG, Ford, and Citigroup.

Wall Street

How much money have you lost?

Do not pass go... Do not collect $200...

Go directly to jail...

The Official lolcat of You Want Rice Noodle?

(we wash for you too..)

For my all Steeler buddies...

BC-meSs

As a scarlet & gray bleeding Buckeye fan, I've come to terms with the fact that two consecutive losses in National Championship game results in being treated like a Port-a-Jon by the NCAA, BCS Apple IIe and IBM 1981 PC computers, and the ESPN ("Empty Suits Posing as kNowledgable") analysts. However, I am sick to my stomach over still having to read about how certain individuals think that our program is sub-par to the likes of non-BCS teams. Maybe this is what Charlie Weis feels like after eating his 30th cheeseburger.

I have a short OSU counter-point to the stone-throwers of a good 10-2 season:

• Boise State - Did Boise State play ANYONE of Southern Cal's or Penn State's caliber this season? Please, just name one team. Mighty Oregon struggled to beat a below-average Purdue team in overtime.
  
• Utah - see above. They beat a HORRENDOUS Michigan team by two. Nice work. Also needed TCU's kicker to miss not once, but TWICE...
  
• The Ohio State loss was to USC (on their home turf) without Beanie Wells. Not saying the outcome would have changed, but to have a RB to control the clock/possession, would have changed the 'feel'. I'm going for respectability here...
  
• Penn State's vaunted "HD" offense needed a late game fumble by a freshman QB to shift the tides. Just sayin'.
  
• On the topic of "who's playing well at the end of the season", give Ohio State some credit too. Beanie is healthy again, Terrelle Pryor boosted his QB rating to > 150, and the defense is starting to play more inspired football to compliment the aforementioned two-headed monster.

One last thing to note - Ohio State ENDED UP in the 2007 Championship game v. LSU thanks to teams like West Virginia, Missouri, and USC's explicite desires not to go. It's like my senior year HS prom date, everyone else had dates and well, a month prior to the event, no one else had asked her. I just ended up going with her. However, my experience was equivalent to Ohio State's...

On a similar note, the 2006 Championship game v. Florida was like every drunken experience I've had. The first few drinks go down awesome and you feel fantastic, then it all comes to a screeching halt via black-out and the next day you have an 18-hour hangover...

It's already been noted by just about every Longhorn fan on the planet, but how you beat a team head-to-head on a neutral field and end up on the face-down side of a flipped coin is ludicrous. Hello? It is obvious to me that the Big 12 is being run on the same Apple IIe's as the BCS.

Monday

Contrary to the ESPN/MNF commercials, I have never and will never ask the question "Is it Monday yet?" Um, unless I'm getting on a flight to go on vacation somewhere like Vegas on a Monday.

Disclaimer - this looks like the keyboard I'm typing on and I do have a black Philips monitor.

My Fantasy Football Team Sucks

Quick note: Our league plays two games per week.

After going on a strong 7-game win streak, my team has decided to put its head between its knees for the past two weeks failing to post 100 points. In our scoring system, a 140-spot is good and a 160+ is strong. Therefore, my team has been performing like the Detroit Pussycats or the Cincinnati BunGals (or Notre Dame). It's not even worth mentioning that I've been blasted by the top scoring team in the league in consecutive weeks.

At the moment, I'm not holding out hope that my team will turn things around heading into the playoffs (starting Thursday evening). Fortunately it looks like I've secured a bye-week so my group of Numb Nuts can continue its "we look good on paper" trend.

These fuckers must all be airbrushed or something. Names & nicknames below.

• Peyton "washed out" Manning - performance vs. the Brownies was laughable
• Brandon "shut out" Marshall - no TDs since week 10 vs. aforementioned Brownies
• Reggie "the Whiner" Wayne - no TDs since week 10 vs. Steelers
• Anquan Boldin - this guy broke his jaw and came back three weeks later, he's the MAN. Second worst outing of the season.
  
• Antonio "Rivers Hates Me" Gates - 2008 has been a very mediocre one
• Running Backs By Committee - yet again, I start the wrong RB. L. Washington over Hillis. Oops. Slaton tonight v. Jax.
  

Draft redo - 13 weeks into the season, it's clear that I should have drafted Drew Brees & Larry Fitzgerald instead of Peyton Manning & Reggie Wayne. Additionally, drafting a Matt Forte instead of Brandon Marshall would have partially solidified my game of roulette RB. With Sleepers like Roddy White & Eddie Royal, the 4th round WR pick was a bit hasty.

That being said, unless someone can convince me otherwise (or increase my salary by > 25%), it looks like I will be refraining from next year's Season and saving my money for my upcoming trip to Vegas (time/date TBD).