But hell, I'll probably STILL do better than Toad McShay or those clowns at SI.com....- Cam Newton will be a bust in the NFL, a la Ryan Leaf, JaMarcus Russell, and Akili Smith. One-year, one-hit wonder out of a wacky college offense.
- Cameron Heyward will be a steal in the draft and will get drafted by a Super Bowl contender.
- Jake Locker or Andy Dalton will win a Super Bowl in the next five years.
- Next Year's Offensive Rookie POY will be..... Mark Ingram.
- Next Year's Defensive Rookie POY will be..... Patrick Peterson.
Okthxbye.
I know it's May... and the Ohio State football season doesn't officially start for another 3+ months, but I have conjured up an early wish list based on the Spring Game (glorified practice) and other blogs that I've stumbled upon recently... I recall writing up a similar post prior to last season, so hopefully this doesn't sound too repetitive.. Without further ado, my Buckeye wish-list!
- The 3-4 Defense: let's call up Dick LeBeau and figure out how to use the 3-4 in every situation... even against those pansy, bitchassness teams that send 5-WR on the field for every play.. I'm talking about YOU Pur-don't. We know we're not rock solid at the corner position, so why not throw down with four, mean, nasty LBs... Some beautiful combination of Spitler, Homan, Moeller, Sabino, Rolle, and Hines... It would be kisstastic to see Heyward, Gibson and Wilson on the line... Too bad we don't have a monster DT...
- Pryor Unleashed: why Tressel seemingly wants to contain a rabid dog is disturbing... but what do I know? I'm not the one making millions of dollars here. Pryor is an animal waiting for its first meal (*waving* Hi, Navy!). Apparently he showed much improved accuracy during the Spring Game... and all this talk about arm strength is overrated.. He had arm-strength before he got to college, he just didn't have CONFIDENCE in throwing the ball. A greater understanding of the offense will promote his success this season, whereby last season, he was just trying to manage games... Another year in the weight room and he might look like Bron-Bron on the football field...
- DeVier Posey mutates into David Boston II: he's got the size and speed to burn... Now he just needs to pull a Julio Jones/AJ Green impersonation with numero ocho on his back and turn in a monster season... Deep threats stretch the field... Robo and Hartline were not deep threats.
- Healthy AA, Andre Amos: a full, healthy, productive season from AA... Kid was a stud coming out of HS... I'd like for him to be able to leave OSU as an NFL prospect and a strong senior year ala Antonio Smith.
- Depants USCum: We've got scUM and USCum... I watched helplessly as our beloved Buckeyes were embarrased by Dirty Sanchez... Here's to TP returning the favor. Yes Taylor Mays, he's bigger than you.
With the NFL Draft upon us, I thought it would be fun to fill a roster of misfits... This team COULD be good...
QB - Michael "Dog Fighting" Vick
RB - Maurice "Shotgun & Vodka" Clarett
RB - Cedric "Drinking & Boating" Benson
RB - Onterrio "Whizzinator" Smith
RB - OJ "I Didn't Do it" Simpson
WR - Rae "Murder Inc." Carruth
WR - Plaxico "9mm" Burress
WR - Chris "18 is too old" Henry
WR - Matt "Coke-Man" Jones
TE - Mark " " Chumra
OL - Eric "Drinking & Boating" Steinbach
OL - Ross "Bad Checks" Verba
OL - Barrett "Bipolar" Robbins
OL - Bryant "Love Boat" McKinnie
DT - Tank "I love guns" Johnson
DE - Leonard "Kill you with my car" Little
LB - Odell "Must Drink and Drive" Thurmann
LB - Rob "Wife-beater Extraordinaire" Reynolds
LB - Steve "BAC 0.233" Foley
LB - AJ "Rap Sheet" Nicholson
CB - Adam "Pacman needs a Posse" Jones
CB - Darryl "41 years in Orange" Henley
... This team wouldn't be complete without the official Cincinnati Bengals team jerseys.... Orange and stripes!
