Baseball Sucks

FAIL.

I was going to write this entry as a letter to New York Yankee fans and ticketholders but I'm going to refrain because I'm assuming that most of them wouldn't even get past the title "Baseball Sucks". Contrary to some of my bretheren over at the GP, I abhor baseball. I spent two years of my childhood attempting to play in the unadulterated version known as "Little League" baseball and when I realized that I would be no more than a lead-off hitting 3rd baseman, I gave it up completely. But no, my qualms with baseball is entirely removed from my personal playing experiences, rather it is of a fiscal origin. Ignoring all the steroid talk, it disgusts me to have to watch and listen to sportshows and sports-radio give me updates about how the Yankees just shot their endless porn-like wad at yet another over-rated individual (this time Mark Teixeira). 

I assure you that I am not the only middle-class professional who believes that it is completely ludicris for four athletes to sign multi-year contracts totaling almost HALF A BILLION DOLLARS in one off-season. I cut back on Christmas gifts/spending this year and here I am having to run multiple spreadsheets to determine if I can (and want to) own a house that would cost less than $200,000. To put it in perspective, Mr. Teixeira will make $131,000 in ONE FUCKING GAME. If it's a normal 9-inning game, that's over $43,000 AN HOUR. Almost more than I make in a year.

Can you tell I'm bitter? Fuck you Steinbrenner. I hope you don't make the playoffs or lose in the first round to the Red Sox.

My second point is very simple - baseball is painfully boring to watch. Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball. Catch ball. OH MY GOD, A HIT! CHEER!!! Toss ball. Catch ball. Grab crotch. Flirt with pitcher. What? Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball. Catch ball. Toss ball.... OUT!!! Two more to go...

Anyway, for all you ticket holders, I hope you cancel your tickets this season and stick it to the man. 

It is asinine that by the time I have children and would like to take them to a sporting event, that I won't be able to afford to do so. And at that time, I'm sure baseball will still suck.